


Of Teacups and A Quill. [Levi x Reader]

by ruler0fstars, rulerofstars (ruler0fstars)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies), 進撃！巨人中学校 | Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou | Attack on Titan: Junior High
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:27:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 38,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28587198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruler0fstars/pseuds/ruler0fstars, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruler0fstars/pseuds/rulerofstars
Summary: A collection of Levi Ackerman x reader oneshots/drabbles.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You, levi x reader
Kudos: 93





	1. Steinway and Sons

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is angel, i am ruler-of-stars from tumblr. you can pretty much see these stories on tumblr or my wattpad, too. 
> 
> do not reproduce, distribute, or transmit my works in any form or by any means, without the my permission. do not repost my works anywhere. plagiarism is a crime. and please, do not translate my works, too.

The piano was your getaway. 

**GENRE** **:** Fluff, a bit of Angst.

 **WARNINGS:** Cursing. 

The clamor outside resonated along the soft voice of the piano. Your fingers trailed along the keys, almost caressing them, subtlety letting them collide with the ivory.

Faint footstep sounds had intertwined with the harmonies, like a beat interfering a classical song. And so you stopped.

“You’re still here.”

Your heart skipped more than just a beat, and your slender fingers are floundered. _Come on, play._

His hoarse voice has always been your weakness. And he has no idea… God, he is so fucking clueless on how defenseless you are against every inch of him.

“I guess.”

The dim, warm lights helped you distinguish the notes from the piece. Yet, you could hear his sighs along the melodies. The storm, the wind, and the droplets of water from his soaked clothes.

“Come home, baby…”

You sat firm, biting my lower lip. Trying not to give in to him.

_Damn you._

Your heart tingled when you felt his warm hand on your shoulder. Your soul wants to dance in ecstasy and glee, but your mind hates him. _I hate you_. You hate how frail you are against him. How fragile you get against his simplest words, his slightest touch … How could he make you so weak?

“I’m sorry.”

Tears instantly formed, your lips are shaking. You knew it. You would give in too easily, and it would take him nothing to have all of you back. His warmth melted your jealousy away. You are always euphoric whenever he envelops you in between his arms. Because home was always _Levi Ackerman_.

“Let’s go home, yeah?” He asked, carefully closing the piano lid, trying not to make a loud sound.

The hail calmed down. But you could still hear the rainfall singing. His body collided with yours, his lips pressed on your forehead, down your nose, until it closed the space in between your lips. You inhaled his scent as your breathing became one.

_I am defenseless against you._

“Yeah.”


	2. Daylight

He provides you scorching love.

 **GENRE:** Modern AU, smut, fluff.

 **WARNINGS:** Sex, fingering, cursing.

_You have all of me._

The faint sound of the fan is echoing all throughout the four corners of the room. Subtle music could be heard from other apartments, but you drown within his sounds.

Your legs are widely spread apart, while the flesh, covered by your cotton undies, is desperate for his touch. Everything feels so electrifying, that even sweat which trickles down your neck makes you even more… aroused.

He is so near you, it is electrifying. Your faces almost touching, his lips are almost kissing yours. _Almost_. And the gap in between the both of you shouts in frustration, begging for touch, and you are pleading for him, God, you are. Him, his lips, his skin, his touch. You have never been so erratic, that you could come just by hearing his voice.

He traced the peak of your bosoms, and you could feel your heart explode while the heat inside of you envelope your own body.

“You are so horny,” He chuckled.

And God, that made you hornier. The raspiness of his voice making you more slick. Easier to enter, easier to fuck. You bit his lip. You are mad, becoming more impatient, damn eager for his skin against yours.

“Hell, yeah. I am.”

With your shaking hands, you grabbed his slender ones to guide it to your scorching core. And he looked at you, a glint of amusement is evident in his eyes. Fuck you— _well, fuck me._

“Right here?” He glided his finger softly against your sensitive nub. You glared at him like he was a meal and you were a lion who has been starved for months, your eyes are burning with desire. _He’s the daylight that you have been deprived of every winter._

Space has occupied your mind when he touched you without any kind of barrier, his cold fingers doing magic on your wet, hot cunt. He felt like heaven, yet he makes you suffer. Soft gasps started to escape your lips while he moved his finger in motions that make you insane.

“You like that, baby?”

You couldn’t speak. Your mind has escaped, and all you could think about is him. Him. His cock. Him inside. _Levi inside of me._

“C-can you just, put it inside?”

He chuckled as he kissed your forehead, and smiled as if you have said the most dumb as fuck statement. But, hey. Only you could draw a smile on the man’s face.

Your faces are almost touching, again. His eyes are with yours, his breath on your lips, and you are lost in him. His eyes made love with yours while he slowly stretched your insides as he subtly pushed his finger inside of you, a smirk plastered across his face.

_Holy fuck._


	3. Jasmine

He was besotted.

 **Genre:** Angst, a bit of smut.

 **Warnings:** Mentions of death, sex, cursing.

_“Why did you fall in love with me?”_

It was your one question that lingered in Levi’s mind for quite a while. The one that made him ponder and generate another question… _do I need a reason to love you?_

You joined the Corps almost at the same time. He excelled at almost every kind of skill that would definitely help him survive outside the walls, while you were known for being one of the most kind and reliable soldiers of your time— branded as the female version of Moblit.

Befriending Levi Ackerman, however, was the hardest thing that you had to do. His grumpiness and menacing aura drove away every person who somehow attempted to be his acquaintance. You’d have to admit, there were a lot of times when you wanted to slap the fuck out of his handsome face, it was something about the way he talks and how he manages to insert the word “shit” in every kind of sentence, but you had never gain the courage to do so. Instead, you grew fond of the way he talks and got used to it as time passed.

“What are your thoughts about flowers, Levi?” You caught him sitting at the edge of the wall, one time, looking like someone who is contemplating about his life decisions. You did not know what he was thinking about, probably shit. That’s why you decided to sit next to him and join his alone time.

“You don’t have permission to sit next to me, brat.” He snorted, probably rolling his eyes at you. But you did not know, you couldn’t see his face.

The both of you sat in front of the sunset, radiating the warmest orange hues and some pink tinctures. Dreamy was how you would call it. Like a scenery which could only exist in someone’s hallucinations.

“Yeah, I don’t need your permission.” You bluntly said, a smirk forming on your lips. After how many months of hesitations and cowardice, you have managed to overcome your fear of the captain. It was gradual but worth it. Because, you believed that he was not just a strong person with extraordinary skills. You wanted to know who he was beyond his title, beyond what others say. You sought to know him as Levi, and boy was he glad that you did.

You figured that hot tea was the way towards the man’s heart. And flowers were yours. Particularly, _Jasmine_.

It was the evening of September 6th. The night was freezing, and you had just finished washing up after having dinner with your squad— Mike’s. The sound of rattling glassware from the mess-hall sparked your curiosity, and there you saw one of the cadets, you were not sure if it was Eren or Jean, but you decided to approach him.

“You need help?” You asked, biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from giggling, you really don’t want the kid to feel embarrassed. But he looked like he just had to crap in his pants.

“Y-yes, ma’am. This is for captain Levi.” He gestured the teacup with a ton of wet tea leaves inside of it. You felt bad for the boy, you decided to handle it from there.

The captain’s voice resonated against the wooden barriers when he heard a knock. He did not know who it was but he kind of wished that it’s the tea. _Eren took ages for this, it’s about fucking time._

He was about to scold who was in front of him until he realized that it was you. A smile was plastered across your face when you placed the porcelain cup on his desk, beside the pile of paper that he was working on.

You did not know how to explain but he did look at you motherfuckingly. As if he was searching for the answers to his queries: _What fuck are you doing here, where the fuck is Eren, what the fuck is this._

“Drink up, that is Jasmine tea. I’ll get going.” You flashed him a warm smile, probably warmer than the tea, before turning around and leaving him all by himself once again. Levi’s mind finally processed what just happened, and he took a sip from the cup after making sure that it wasn’t so hot that he’d burn himself.

It was good.

The scent and taste lingered in his mouth for quite a while until he finished it with a contented sigh. The image of you and your pretty little smile stayed in his mind for as long as the tea did, too, frustrating the man and forcing him to take a break from his paperworks and call it a night.

An expedition have passed and as usual, the amount of injured and dead bodies surpassed those which are lucky enough. And you were fortunate that you belong to the latter group, it gave you more capability to aid those who were hurt. Your kind heart could not stand the thought of leaving someone injured unattended. And you were beyond devastated because of the loss. It was to early for them to go, _too early_ to be taken away.

After the tiring day, you immediately went to the shower and washed away every kind of filth which stuck onto your body. And how you wish you could wash away the terror of witnessing the deaths of those who had perished. Their cries will haunt you for life, and a part of you had always been guilty for not being able to save your comrades.

The warm shower relaxed the tension of your sore muscles, as heaven filled your nostrils while you sprayed your favorite Jasmine-scented perfume.

It was already night time when you decided to take a walk above the walls, after lending a shoulder to those who have lost someone that day. Silently admiring how peaceful it could be, pondering why the stars shine too bright even when they are miles away.

“Aren’t you tired?” The voice made you turn your head around, eyes searching for the speaker, even if you already had a hint about who it was, just to meet Levi’s silver eyes. He wasn’t in his uniform, but he had his ODM gear on, and so did you.

“Aren’t you?”

“I asked you first, shitty brat.” He scoffed, while you laughed. You did not know that you would get used to talk to someone who talks this way. It was kind of therapeutic for you, if you were to be completely honest.

You spent the night conversing with him. Even though majority of the talking came from you, it was nice to have someone listen to every kind of rant and story that you had.

“Plants love water, and you should put them under the sun! Not too fervid, though. Just the proper warmth and sunlight that they need.” You were rambling on how to make plants grow, particularly Jasmine, your favorite, while waiting for the cadets for an early morning training.

“Why bother taking care of them if they would also die.” He muttered, and you lightly smacked his arm, which made you earn a glare from him. “Levi!”

“What? It’s true.” He snorted, and you swear you wanted to kick him in the face.

“The way they flourish into flowers are beautiful.” You stated while eyeing the grassy view in front of you, and then you turned to him.

“I want to have my own garden, someday.” Your eyes were beaming, and Levi swore you looked so radiant, that you would pass as the sun. Warmth was everything you could provide him, anyway.

The Captain became fond of the tea that you make, he got so used to you coming to his office and bring him his beverage while you blabber about everything as he work on the papers on his table.

There was a time when you were being shooed away by your own squad because of how talkative you were. Now, you are the female version of Moblit with a bit of Hanji!

“Be honest. Am I noisy?” You asked Levi one time while he was feeding his black stallion. You were a pouting mess that time, and he was trying so damn hard not to smash his lips on yours and shove his tongue down your mouth.

“I don’t mind hearing your voice all day.” He says, walking away, to ease the sexual tension in between your lips and his. Leaving you in awe.

“Aw, real— Hey, you didn’t answer my question!”

You made love, the night before reclaiming Shiganshina district. Well, that’s what you’d call it. In Levi’s terms, it’s probably called fucking.

It was steamy. Hot as hell, as you both sought for each other’s heat amidst the cold, chilly night. You whispered his name all over and over again, like a prayer. And he worshipped your naked body, he treated you like a flower. Levi’s touch was ecstasy, as you were to him. Your bodies are aching for each other’s skin, and God were you begging for more.

“Levi, don’t stop.”

You both knew what was in between the both of you, and you knew you’d both have answers to non-existent questions after the mission. His room was filled with the sound of your moans, the sound of skin, your scent clung onto Levi because of how close you were, and boy, how he wished it stayed forever.

_How he wish it did._

Captain Levi Ackerman felt intoxicated when the enticing scent had filled his nostrils once again. It lingered for a while, but it went away too soon, just like the memories that visited him for a glimpse.

_“Why did you fall in love, Levi? Just tell me.”_

He is once again a scum for you as your favorite perfume danced with the breeze and drifted along the zephyr.

_“Well, you told me how flowers bloom.”_


	4. Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the song: Fools by Nathan and Mercury

His heart has made a song for you, as you follow his lead and sway along its beat.

**Pairing:** Levi Ackerman x Reader

 **Genre:** Fluff

_“Why are we here?”_

It’s finally sunset. The subtle Autumn breeze is sneaking through the narrow gap in between the rustic window of their cozy apartment. Fall was the prettiest season, indeed. Providing people with the sense of warmth and crisp, plus the joy of sipping a pumpkin spice latte or a hot chocolate.

You just finished showering, the fine scent of the Vanilla body wash has softly wandered across every room, and it eventually reached your lover, who fell in love a little bit more as he recognized one of his favorite scents.

_Every scent becomes his favorite as long as it is on you._

After drying a bit, you carefully walked out of the bathroom, with droplets of water softly trickling down your bare skin, and ending up on the towel. You were careful not to slip, because you know it would hurt, and Levi would get mad… not at you, but he’d get mad if you fall.

_Not if you fall for him._

Levi stood up, a thin smile painted across his face as he approached the dainty scent that cruised upon every inch of the room. You were everything he wanted, but you after a shower were _everything and more._

“God, I think I fell in love.” he murmured as he softly buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

You chuckled, placing a gentle kiss on his temple while gently running your fingers through his undercut. “Are you saying that you did not love me for the past five years of our lives?”

He guided you towards the corner of the room where the turntable, and a bunch of your collection of records sat; A glimmer of light escaping your eyes as his slender fingers came in contact with your favorite one.

“I love you even more.”

He carefully placed the vinyl onto the platter. The sweet harmony starting to resonate against everything, even you. Heartbeats and harmonies are all that is left to hear inside the place. A naughty giggle escaped your mouth as you sway in front of your lover.

He chuckled, staring into your eyes, as music enveloped you both in a warm mood. Life was a ballroom, and he’s not a dancer. But he swore, he could waltz to the beat of your heart, if it would mean having the chance to dance with your being for a lifetime and more.

“You really love this, don’t you, baby?”

You bit your lips, trying to resist a smile, but you just can’t. Not if it is because of him.

“Mhm.”

“May I have this dance?” he asked, offering his hand as he flashes one of his captivating smirks. When you started dating, you swore that seeing him smile was so magical, and you often wished you could dream of it.

You kissed him swiftly, smiling as your lips gently collide. His lips are soft, subtly glazed with the flavor of his favorite black tea— intoxicating.

“Your lips are mine.”

He chuckled, gently swaying you along the music. You swore, he wasn’t a dancer, but you would take his hand at every chance you would get.

“I am all yours.” he said, letting you twirl as the towel loosened, slowly slipping from your body, leaving you naked in front of him.

You didn’t stop dancing, falling in love even more than you could ever imagine, and Cupid couldn’t stop staring at your figures. The breeze is waltzing with your bodies while fragile leaves slowly surrendered into the wind. Darkness slowly creeps in along with the moon as they witness art, forming once again.

_“Our love is real.”_


	5. Pragma

What happens at the end of the line?

**Genre:** Angst, fluff.

 **Warnings:** Swearing, mentions of death.

* * *

We often wonder how life works. There are numerous questions left unanswered, like where do we go when we die? How does it feel like… being lifeless? How do you know when you are completely dead?

And here you are, laying in your lover’s warm embrace, about to find out the truth you’ve sought for a long time ago, but this is decades too early.

The rumbling was too much. It deprived every person their chance towards life. It took away too many souls, too many lives, too many dreams, the future— _your future._

“Come on, love. Let’s take you to a medic, I’m sure there’s someone near.” Levi’s hoarse voice was lullaby to your ears. The meadow that you are in is filled with flowers and everything that you love. This was your favorite place, and ironically, the enemy bombarded the place with bombs. You did not want to go further away, you already know your fate— you can feel it, the severity, _you know you wouldn’t make it._ You’re sure that Levi will understand, and you… you are happy right here.

Your lover’s cold lips came in contact with your forehead. Even when you are in your worst shape, you both never fail to create searing heat whenever you are close and together. You are each other’s best part, and no one could ever change that. _Even death._

“Let’s go somewhere else, somewhere safer, hm?” He tried convincing you.

_Oh, my Levi._

“N-no, I’m safe. You are here…” You stared at his ocean eyes, they were glossy. God he was perfect. He is too good to you, sometimes you would question if he is real. “You are here, so I’m— I’m safe, love.”

Everything has an end. It’s just that we don’t really know when it’s coming. We’ll never know what will get us. That was something that you’d always tell yourself. That’s why you were so brave. _Too brave_ , in your lover’s vocabulary. You knew that there is no such thing as an eternity. Everyone has an end of the line, and _perhaps_ this one’s yours.

Levi’s hand gripped yours ever so gently. He knew what is about to come. And how he wished he was the one in your position. How he had loathed the world for taking you away from him too early. You had your dreams. You both had plans. And at some point, Levi Ackerman had selfishly wished that between the two of you, he should be the first one to go.

He has been through too much of this. And he does not want to know how much it would break him once again, especially if it’s you. God, he wouldn’t know what to do, _he wished he won’t have to._

He had been with you through so much. You questioned the universe together, met upon the dusk, searching for the fire you both have lost ever since the war occurred— only to find it among each other’s comfort.

“R-remember when we first went outside the underground?” You asked him, staring at his pretty face. You loved staring at his face, admiring his features. His alluring eyes, pointy nose, thin lips, and sometimes he would get pretty annoyed because of it. But he really did not mind, for as long as you are happy.

The corner of his lips rose up a bit, reminiscing how amazed you all were when you saw how beautiful the sky was, when you were still with Farlan and Isabel.

“Yeah, I thought I was in heaven.” He muttered, running his fingers through your hair. You love it when he does this. He knew how much you love it when he touches your hair and plays with it.

“Levi, do you regret it now… that you had loved me?” You squeezed his hand, trying if you still have strength for this kind of talks.

The Ackerman did not want to make the both of you official at first. He loves you, but he was well aware of what was about to come. How dangerous it is to fall in love in this kind of world. How unfair it is. He was well aware of the possible outcomes. But you were his total opposite.

You were someone who’s willing to try even when there is no guarantee. You told him how dreams work. You pushed all of his fears away, for the both of you to try and make this work. And it did. You were just at the wrong time. But it did work. _Thank God, it did._

“I never will, (Y/N).”

Tears started to escape from your eyes. You did not know if those were happy or tears of sorrow. But you are pretty sure that it’s both. There were still so much left for the both of you to do. To build a family, and live your very own happily ever after. But some happy endings just aren’t meant to be, at least, _yours_.

“Thank God.”

It was never the world’s fault for bringing you in this kind of situation. You were too kind. You never blamed anything for all the terrible things that had happened to you. Even when life scourges you with sorrow, at least, you got to see the deep, blue ocean with the man you fell in love with.

“Hey, Levi.” You croaked. The excruciating pain that you were feeling earlier is starting to fade away. It’s near. You are near. You never wanted to go. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

_Fate was selfish._

“Yes, my love?” He asked in the most comforting tone. He never calls you through an endearment unless he is in a really good mood, is he in one? You smiled subtly.

“What if there is still war in the next life?” Your weak, cold hand tried to reach for his lips and he held yours just to guide your hand towards his face.

He kissed your hand, you couldn’t feel his warmth anymore, but at least you could feel his lips, his skin, you are happy that you could still feel him.

“Then so be it.” He says, staring into your eyes. They were starting to dull, and he is already starting to miss the beam in your irises. You have the brightest eyes. He can’t imagine life without seeing your face in the early morning, and reaching for your warmth at night.

“W-would you still promise to find me there?” Your voice sounded so weak. Too weak, that it crushed Levi’s heart, but he couldn’t afford you to see him in so much pain. The best thing that he could do is to stay strong for you.

“I promise.”

You smiled at his reply, and he swore, you had him once again. You never fail to have him just because of your simplest acts. You never cease to make him fall so deeply. You were the only person that he’s lost himself into. And he knew that after everything else, you would be the home he’d return to. He would come back to you, and only you. _God, he loves you so much._

“Even the life after that?”

“I’ll find you all over, and over, and over again.” His voice cracked. Levi doesn’t want to mind anymore. _Just, fuck everything._ He is losing you, how could he not? He’s losing his whole world right in front of him, and after this, he would be left with nothing else.

With all the strength that is left inside of you, you pushed yourself deeper in his embrace, and he held you tighter. You want to be the closest to your home before you go, and he is yours. _Always will be._

Your eyes are starting to flutter, they’re getting heavy, but you kept on asking him questions, just because you wanted to hear his voice.

“What if fate f-forbids?” You smiled, preparing yourself for his answer. At least, you would know.

_God, you wish you had more time._

“Then I would make another world just so I could be with you again.”

Levi held you so close, his breathing steady, while his heart thumps faster than a whirling wind as he waits for your voice, hoping you would ask him more. Hoping that you wouldn’t stop. Hoping for you to stay. But he already had the answer when he couldn’t feel your weakened grip anymore.

You were beautiful.

“I love you, you know.”

 _I know_.


	6. Detergent

You were left alone with laundry duties. Prompt from [this](https://moanlightlust.tumblr.com/post/183640712815/prompts) list. 

**Pairing:** Levi Ackerman x Reader

 **Genre:** Modern AU, fluff.

 **Warnings:** Swearing.

* * *

The sound of a machine always startles you, especially when the timer of your manual laundry machine goes off. Hanji, your roommate slash best friend who left hours ago, being the person they are, begged you to wash “some” of their clothes as they would have to do their plates. And who were you to decline? A “few shirts” and a piece of shorts would not hurt. Yep, not at all…

_Fuck it._

Your nose is now filled with the clean and mild scent of your detergent, it was the smell of cottons and babies. _Babies smell nice_ , you thought as you put Hanji’s clothes inside of the machine for the THIRD time. You were scammed, you could not believe it, they had a TON of clothing. A mental note to smack Hanji the moment they get home is already pinned at the back of your head.

This was supposed to be a one-hour chore, and your phone broke so you couldn’t even listen to some music, _damn it._

After hearing the door close, you immediately spoke, assuming that the person who went in was your best friend.

“Hanji, I swear to God, you should buy me dinner because of this.” You shouted from the bathroom. You can’t even get up, your clothes are soaked in the front, hair is a mess, and sweat trickled down every part of your body. You were sure that you look nasty as fuck as you continuously squeeze some of the water out of the fabric that you are holding.

A chuckle echoed from across the room. The voice was too deep, _it couldn’t be Hanji_ , you thought.

“Busy day, hm?”

In a blink of an eye, your head snapped up and saw Levi. He’s Hanji’s blockmate in the University, and you guys have met through them, and so you became good friends, too. He had spent a generous amount of time in your apartment for the past few days because of their group plates, together with Erwin. But they had to do it at him and Erwin’s dorm right now because apparently, they are too tired to witness the mess around yours and Hanji’s place. ~~Yes, the audacity~~. But you really did not mind.

 _Architecture majors_. You sigh. 

And now you are wondering why he’s here. And you are guessing that your best friend had left something and they ordered Levi to get ‘em.

Wrong. No one could ever boss this man around, except for Erwin.

“Why are you here?” You got back to your chore and wait for his answer. A few more left.

He cleared his throat, “Your detergent smells nice.”

You bit your lip, feeling the flattery linger above your head and tickle your stomach like crazy. That was one hell of a compliment, especially if it comes from this man.

“Thanks,” You replied, not looking back, you did not want him to see how silly your appearance is right now.

“What’s that brand?” He asks, again. The question did confuse you in some way, since you are using one which is really common in the market. And doesn’t he use the same one? You knew because him and Erwin… their clothes smell the same!

You looked at him, “You use the same brand, ask Erwin.”

Levi smirked, you swore you barely see him lift the corner of his lips that when you do, you would question if it s already the end of the world.

“It smells better when you are the one using it.”

For a good thirty seconds, the only sound that you could hear is the whirling of water from the washing machine, and the machine itself. Oh, and your crazy heartbeat, too.

_“Are you flirting with me?”_

He scoffed at you, finally getting inside the bathroom and sitting at the edge of the tub, _“You finally noticed?”_

You bit the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from grinning.

“Don’t do that, you look cute.”

You really want to smack him across the face right now. Your cheeks are burning up! Seriously, the warmth that rushed up your face was overwhelming you. How could he do this without being… skittish.

“You’re fidgety when you are shy.”

“Shut up, you did this to me.”

The fizz of soap from your hands cascaded along with the water as you wash your hands on the sink, finally done with all the washing. You only have to throw this last set on the dryer and hang it and you are finally done.

You sat next to Levi, smelling the detergent with a mix of his cologne radiating from his shirt. You rolled your eyes.

“Why are you here?” You asked, grabbing a clean cloth and wiping your sweat-drenched face and neck.

“I’m here for two things,” he paused for a while, you swore you saw a hint of redness on his ears, God he’s cute. “We finished early so I’m asking you out for tea.”

Time stopped. You got lost in his eyes for a second. _Me, going out… with Levi fucking Ackerman of the colllege of Architecture._

Who could blame you? He’s a university heartthrob, he’s handsome, he’s smart, he is everything that a woman could ever asked for.

“Oh, o-okay. Let me just, fix myself.” You stood up, still kind of in trance. Levi finds you cute. Innocent, kind of funny, kind, totally his type. Plus, you smell really nice, too. “What’s the other one, by the way?” You asked, getting a towel from your cabinet because you intend to take a shower.

You saw him leave the bathroom and go towards your small, messy living room, probably took the cue that you’d use the shower.

“Hanji told me to tell you that the ones in their laundry basket are clean and that the clothes on their bed,” His head appeared from the doorway, a hint of amusement is evident in his silver-blue eyes, “Are the ones that you should wash.”

_OH._


	7. Fate's Choice

You drown within the familiarity of each other’s touch.

**Genre:** Reincarnation AU, fluff.

 **Word count:** 1,066 words.

 **Angel’s note:** This piece is inspired from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfb7QLmzpIQ) song ( _It’s been a long, long time_ ), I hope you would be able to listen. Also, this might be a continuation of [Pragma](https://ruler-of-stars.tumblr.com/post/637190831004073984/pragma)… or not. It depends on you ;) enjoy, my loves.

* * *

Gowns, elegance, and champagne. Sophistication and the trace of enticing simplicity emitted from you, the silk, ivory gown hugging your body better than your skin does. It accentuated the lovely color of your skin, and made you feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. Well, _you are_. At least in the Lieutenant’s eyes.

Eyes that reflected the universe’s beauty, and lips begging to be kissed, along with every piece of diamond plaited against your neck, ears, and even your ring finger.

 _Damn, is she engaged?_ The lieutenant thought. He had his eyes all over you ever since the warm chandeliers lit up and the orchestral band started to play. The way you move, how you subtly laugh and lightly cover your mouth with your fragile-looking hands. You are an _obra maestra_ , the star of his night.

“What is wrong with you?” Erwin mutters as he notices his comrade, subordinate, and friend constantly trying to look at a certain direction, although he tried his very best to keep unnoticed, too bad, his Major General just did. Lieutenant Colonel Levi Ackerman is known for always being calm and collected. The man’s mere presence scatters intimidation among everyone who feels him.

But tonight, he felt like he lost himself in you.

After the war had ended, dinners like this are annually arranged by the nobles, and they never bothered to spread their invitations accentuated with gold sparkles to those who weren’t born with a golden spoon fed in their mouth. Levi was not fond with the dinners, especially as it seems to give importance only to the privileged and completely disregard the poor. But the army has always been invited and being one of Erwin’s officers never gave him the chance to ditch.

“Ask her for a dance,” He heard his friend’s whisper, as everyone around their table had their own conversations and chit-chats. He clicked his tongue, finally surrendering to his feelings and heading towards your table.

The diamonds laced on your neck and the ones which are dangling below your ears are starting to irritate you. _When will this end?_ You thought.

Historia Reiss, one of your closest friends, dragged you along and made you a third wheel. She, and her lover Ymir are indulging in each other’s presence, and never in your life had you felt so out of place. The gown is not even yours, and the stilettos are killing your feet, you didn’t even have to wear them because your gown is long enough, but your friend insisted.

Your thoughts stopped when a hand blocked your view of the goddamn floor. Looking up, your eyes slightly widened at the sight of a soldier, offering you his palm. His uniform making him look more professional than he already is… the man in front of you is just gorgeous.

“May I?” He asks, the effect of his harsh yet soothing voice felt like someone you knew.

Gladly accepting the man’s offer, your dainty fingers wrapped around his calloused hand, and they fit so perfectly. His delicate touch sends shiver down your spine, as he positioned his hand at the lower part of your back, touching your cold and exposed skin. The scent that you radiate made him feel as if heaven fell into him, and directly in his arms.

“Have we met before?” You stare into his eyes, admiring the grey that was too tantalizing for you. He has a pointy nose, thin lips, sharp jaw, and the undercut that seemed to make your knees a little bit weaker.

“I don’t think so,” He replies, slowly leading the dance and swaying you slowly, “But you look like someone I knew… _but never met_.” He clears his throat, looking away because one more second of staring into your eyes will daze his mind, like a mirror being filled with clouds of steam. You’ll eradicate every thought and composure that had stayed within him all through the night and make him stupefied.

The music indulged the both of you, while your waltzing figures are underneath the sophisticated chandelier of glass and diamonds. Swaying along the ballade of perfectly harmonized melodies.

 _I am under your spell_ , the both of you thought while giving into the comfort the dwells within your core the moment your skins have touched.

“Are you sure that you don’t know me?” You gave him a subtle smile, a lovely one that almost made his heart stop.

Erwin and Mike, Levi’s comrades are perplexed upon seeing their friend dance with a person every so perfectly. It was perfect. And they both ponder whether the two of you had already met before, and might as well consider that you are the Lieutenant’s secret lover. He held you like a fragile glass, and the way your eyes sparkle as if you are making love… _you are two lost souls who had longed for each other a long time ago._

Fireflies flew over your head, and birds hummed along the crestfallen voice of the wind when you witnessed how the corner of his lips rose.

“Do you want me to know you?”

Tonight was lucid, just enough for the both of you to remember, but surely not to memorize. Every celestial body sighed as you took a step closer, obliterating the gap that had your body aching for more of his warmth. And you swear, you fell in between the spiral of reality and dreams.

You bit your lip, trying not to grin too widely, “Of course.”

Perhaps, the both of you were always bound to dance at this very moment. You are destined to hold each other’s hand and feel the embraced that you had longed for, to piece each other’s conundrums of fragments from the smithereens of space.

“Good,” He said, inching a bit more, placing his lip next to your ear as his slightly raspy voice provided euphoria into your ears, “Because I do, too.”

Maybe when Boreas had blown the mightiest wind, it sang upon the skies full of celestial bodies and hues of the darkest blue. Clashing against the trees, and sweeping two lost stars who had wandered for thousands of years alone, only to find their way back into each other’s light.

_It’s been a long, long time._


	8. Baby love

It was not yours. Prompt from [this](https://rulerofstars.tumblr.com/post/637221947980300288/an-i-made-this-for-no-reason-all-of-my-prompts) list.

**Genre:** Modern AU, **f** luff, kinda crack, awfully cheesy

 **Warnings:** Swearing.

* * *

“Oh my fucking God!” Hanji exclaimed, and you immediately smacked their mouth with your hand just to shut them up. Currently, you are in a filthy, not so compressed space— the (fancy) public comfort room. Yes, still pretty _fucking filthy_ as your boyfriend would call it.

Five minutes ago, you were peacefully munching on all the fancy food in front of you. It is not every day that you get invited to your boyfriend’s boss’s dinner party for his birthday. Dazzling lights gleamed above you, the interior design was superb, it was warmth and ivory all over the place. Oh, and _money_ , too.

Everything was going well for you. Your fingers were carefully caressing Levi’s thigh, the fabric of his pants and suit felt a bit tighter, as your touch gradually move towards his crotch, making the poor man so annoyed and frustrated. Until Hanji and Nanaba grabbed you without any kind of a warning and dragged you to the comfort room AND locked the door.

“You should tell Mike,” you patted your friend’s back, tears are starting to pool in her eyes, it was a good thing that Nanaba has you and Hanji. You were not the comforting type, but you knew how to decently lift other people up and encourage them when in need.

“I’m scared!” She panics, handling you the ziplock bag containing the pregnancy test with her shaky hands. You sighed, if you were in her situation, you probably would freak out, too… or maybe not. It would depend on the situation, especially if it is unplanned. You and Levi haven’t talked about this kind of thing yet, crap, you aren’t even married… yet.

Shaking off the fantasies out of your head, you approached Nanaba who just finished splashing cold water on her face to hopefully reduce the redness caused by crying.

“We’ll figure this out, okay? Let’s go back to our table for now, they might wonder what’s taking us long,” Hanji guided the both of you outside the restroom as a short line of women glared at the three of you. Of course _, they locked the fucking door._

Chilly air hugged your velvet skin as it made its way inside of your tiny black dress, your arms have been crossed since earlier because it’s just too cold. You should have brought over some jacket, ugh, you thought.

Following your friends, every person’s eyes seemed to be all over you. Or maybe it was just because of you being warmth deprived, you started to feel things. Jazz music is echoing through the restaurant, along with the sound of utensils lightly clashing with the porcelain plates. You approached your group’s table and sat next to your boyfriend who has his grumpy face on.

“What took you so lo-” He paused as you fix the hem of your dress, _**“Wait, is that a pregnancy test?”**_ Your boyfriend asks, his voice sheathed with confusion. Everyone’s eyes on the table is now all over you, thank God it was just your friends!

“Jesus, it’s not mine!” You tossed the little bag towards Hanji, shock is written across their face. Erwin got as pale as the fucking snow.

“Y-you’re pregnant?”

You swear Hanji pinched your thighs for what you did and it hurt! They are sweating like a Xiao Long Bao left inside the steamer for ten hours. Reluctance is evident in their eyes, and you saw Nanaba’s worried stare from the corner of your eyes. You wanted to smack yourself, how could you not notice the pregnancy test?

“It’s me.” Nanaba’s low voice was as soft as the sound of piano accompanying the saxophone, “I’m pregnant.”

Erwin coughs and gains his composure, if you were in a different situation, you would have taken a picture and made it a meme, but you weren’t. You felt your boyfriend’s warm hand squeeze yours. Mike had no violent reaction, you wonder if he had fainted inside.

“I thought you were pregnant,” he whispers onto your right ear, his breathe tickling your neck as he rested his face on your shoulder. You scooped in, _you were cold_ , anyway. Levi Ackerman is your portable heater.

“I’m not,” You answered back, taking a bite of your unfinished chocolate cake earlier, “Unless you make me…” The corner of your lips rose up. Levi’s did, too, as he placed a warm peck against your cold shoulder.

“Oh, I will,” His deep chuckle vibrated against your ear. Everyone was busy with their own conversation slash mini endeavors, that no one seemed to notice the two of you having your little moment, “But not yet.”

You faced him, letting your fingers trace his freshly shaved undercut, narrowing your eyes at him, “Of course, you are my only baby until you tell me that you want to become my baby number two.” You joked. He scoffed at you, earning one of his famous scowls again.

“You’re being cheesy.” He says, putting his coat on top of your shoulders, he must have noticed how cold you were. You made kissy faces, and you got a jaw-dropping smirk.

After assessing if everyone is still busy and looking around quickly for five seconds, you stole a quick kiss on his lips, “It’s true. You are my _baby love._ ”


	9. Us, a Paradigm

What happens when two anxious hearts collide?

**Genre:** College of Engineering!AU, angst, fluff, smutty themes.

 **Warnings:** Swearing.

* * *

Commitment issues are so rampant, and you were never really surprised when it dawned to you how much of a coward you are when it comes to responsibilities and devotions. It is scary. People are scary. One moment you are in love then suddenly, you are not. Doubts and questions have always filled your heart whenever you consider taking another step, what if I misunderstood my feelings for something else?

Trust is a huge word. And being someone who overthinks a lot has compromised your standards to believe, and it _sucks._

Hanji on your side continued rambling about how much of a bitch the professor was earlier, based on your observation, they had been late and caused a distraction upon entering the classroom, interrupting the discussion. You sighed as you carried the tray filled with your not so favorite foods towards a vacant spot inside the busy cafeteria.

Your eyes wandered for a moment, sighting various chaotic scenarios around you. Every single person had their own shit to do, there are couples gobbling up each other’s faces, decent Science people who study while eating, gossips who had nothing better to do but to stick their noses up a random person’s business, jocks who are so noisy, oh, and the Computer engineering majors who had just entered the cafeteria. Their presence is indeed, intimidating, especially the seniors.

“What are you doing here? Your building’s literally light years away.” Hanji interrogates as Erwin sat on the vacant spot next to them, and Mike to your left, making you scoop to your right to give him more room since he is… a giant.

Erwin took his iPad with its green silly case out, and the pen with the matching silly case, of course. _These men_ , you chuckled.

“Levi wanted some tea and we don’t have tea in our cafeteria.” Mike shrugged, playing with plants versus zombies part 2 on his phone. _Levi is here, then?_ You thought, your heart pumping a little bit faster when you heard his name, anticipation run through your veins.

A white mug has been placed in front of you, the steam radiating from the drink smelled like your favorite warm drink.

“Speaking of the fucking devil.”

Levi scoffed, sitting next to Hanji and in front of you, leaning against the backrest as he took a sip from his own insulated tumbler, two strings with tags hanging from it. He gave you an eyebrow flash, acknowledging your presence and saying “hey” without actually talking.

You looked down on your mug and avoided his meaningful glances, the warmth of your drink aided your _icy-ass hands_ , as Levi would have called it.

No one knows what is going on between you and the man, by no one, that includes you and him. The both of you are stuck in the anomaly of being afraid to get serious, yet not wanting to let go of each other’s hand. You wanted to laugh at the irony. Years spent of mastering algorithms and theories, yet you cannot even figure out the real score behind the actions and emotions that are involved whenever you meet. Two clever individuals who are unbelievably dumb when it comes to commitments and relationships.

_“What are we?”_

_It was a cold evening eight weeks ago, the fairy lights surrounding you provided warm lusters that helped you distinguish Levi’s emotion. But the man had none on his face, and so did you. You are both puzzles waiting to be solved, but not ready for significant changes._

_“We’re happy.”_

You fuck, you have felt him in so many ways, in different positions, in different places. But the intimacy did not just stop on how you beg for his touch and how he does for you. You are fuck buddies who had pillow talks at 3:00 am, talking about your plans and what kind of goals you have. He told you about his dreams, complained to you about his day, the both of you laughed about how Erwin gave into the blandishments of a salesperson and actually bought silly-looking cases. While you helped him test his projects and cook whenever he had a bad day, joy runs through your blood when you got his tea right, when he lets you take his hoodies home, and lends you his favorite pen.

 _And perhaps you are fuck buddies, with something more._ Neither you nor him, had wanted to clear the score in between, and you chose to dwell within the intimacy and warmth of his being. No labels, no relationships, just two people who enjoyed the company of one another.

“(Y/N), let’s go we’re almost late.” Hanji says, grabbing their bag and standing up, almost hitting Erwin with their steel keychains.

You sighed, grabbing your bag and nodding at the boys, flashing your eyebrows at Levi, too.

_____

The holiday season could be felt inside the campus. Various Christmas decorations appeared everywhere, peppermint mocha now available in the cafeteria, green and red garlands outlined every doorway. Santa Claus just vomited in your university, and you are not hating it, yesterday, you even heard someone playing Christmas songs. It’s the season for ugly sweaters with reindeers in it, and you can’t wait to give one for each of your friends, including your juniors. You wanted to laugh at the thought.

Levi’s warm hands found their way under your- well, his hoodie as he fondled with your breasts while you sat in front of your laptop, leaning against him, and him leaning against the headboard of your bed.

“I’m busy,” You lightly scolded him, trying to shoo his hands away, but he groped your left breast a bit tighter and played with your right nipple.

“Levi!” You called out, playfully glaring at him. _This man is insatiable_ , you thought.

He let out a hearty chuckle and placed his head on your nape. This kind of moments are those you consider unusual, if Levi is clingy then it is unusual.

Warm kisses are placed at the back of your neck and it did send chills all the way to your bones. You love the way he kisses you like some kind of candy, obsessed with how you taste, demanding for more of you.

“Stop moving,” He groaned, burying his face on your hair, inhaling your scent, “This weather is making me horny.”

Your fingers had stop typing for a while, trying to register what he had just said, “You are always horny.” A giggle escaped from your throat, ignoring his thirst for attention. This essay is more important than your needs, and it is due in an hour. Maybe after that, you can satisfy this man’s ache for pleasure.

Levi scoffed, getting out of your warm bed with only his grey sweatpants. Your eyed darted to his lean body and admired him for a bit before going back to your task.

He has been here since last night, he had a few drinks with Erwin and Mike at the newly opened bar, and apparently, he is too tired to drive back to his apartment. You shook your head at the thought, he’s five minutes away. Hanji told you about the Christmas event next week, and it was eventually announced to you by the dean. 

“Your fridge is so gloomy,” Levi states, you did not look up to him as you continued typing for your report for a minor subject. You sighed, Chemical Engineering is fun with all the laboratories and stuff, but the reports and calculations? No.

“Yeah, I haven’t gone to the grocery since last week so…” You trailed. Besides, you were too busy to cook for yourself, so you either had to call for food deliveries, buy your food at school, or go to Levi’s place for food. He is a decent cook, and you really do not have to worry about the cleanliness of the food.

The man sat beside you and looked at your screen, eyeing your word count. You are near your goal and you would definitely let the software check for your own work after this. He planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Let’s go to the store then.” He grumbled, he was eager for your food last night, had he not slept immediately after lying on your bed.

You stared at him, the corner of your lips curving upwards to form a smile. He rarely initiates grocery dates, he had been with you thrice, but he grows impatient whenever you are having a hard time choosing from two different brands, plus there are chances that one of your friends could see you hanging around.

“Okay…” You hummed earning a little yet captivating smirk from him. Levi never fails to make your heart flutter whenever he shows you his rare smile, “After this.”

His breath tickled your ear when he placed his chin on top of your shoulder, itching for you to finish your goddamn report.

“One round before going?”

“Oh, shut up.”

_____

The store is not that crowded when you came, the pushcart’s handle is imprinted with Christmas-inspired designs, and everyone’s wearing their warm, cozy sweaters, and you happen to be wearing one of Levi’s university hoodies, too.

“You don’t need that much butter.” He mutters upon seeing you stock up on one of your favorite canned butters, you made face.

“You’re not sure.”

As you walk along the aisles, the sight of sale and canned cookies immediately distracted you, leaving Levi and the cart to him. _It ain’t Christmas without a can of butter cookies_ , you smiled at the cute design embossed on the can.

“Oh, (Y/N)!”

Hanji’s voice caused you to freeze on the spot. Where’s Levi? Had they seen you with him?

“Hey,” You smiled, turning around and thanking God that Levi wasn’t there, he probably went to another section the moment he had seen your friend, “You alone?” You asked, holding three cans of biscuit on your hand.

“Yeah, yeah I’m- wait, is that a hoodie from the…” They gasped, slapping your arm causing you to wince in pain. _That fucking stings._

You swear to God Hanji’s laugh is so loud everyone could hear.

“(Y/N), you slut!” They cackle, people are weirdly staring at the both of you. Shyness crept in your system. “Who is it? Does Erwin, Mike or Levi know this guy?”

In the corner of your eyes, you saw Levi looking at you from the far corner of the grocery, the cart already filled with the supplies that you need, lacking what you really want, he signaled you to check your phone and immediately walked away, probably heading to the cashier already.

“I-I don’t know, okay? It was one night.” Lousy lies came out of your mouth, and you already knew that Hanji would not buy this. They smirked at you, patting your shoulder.

“Whatever you say, honey, I’ll get going, don’t forget to buy condoms, okay?”

Your face is now so red because of the sudden conversation and how loud Hanji’s voice was. Everyone in that section probably thinks that you really are a slut. You face palmed, stopping to your tracks when you remember what Levi had signaled you to do so.

 **Levi:** I got you all you need, just meet me in my car.

 **(Y/N):** k just lemme pay for some cookies

Without waiting for his reply, you shoved your phone in your bag. Immediately heading to the cashier to pay for your beloved butter cookies. _It was a shame, though_. You thought. You were somehow anticipating to have a decent grocery shopping date with Levi, and it was cut short.

You sighed. Maybe some things just are not meant to happen, after all.

_____

The whole room seemed to be too huge as you walk your way towards your seat, next to Nanaba. She eyed you as if you were an alien, confusion is plastered across her face as you limped, wincing when you were not careful enough for another step.

“What happened to you?” She asks, helping you put your heavy-ass bag down and cringing upon hearing your whims.

 _Levi happened_. “Nothing, I worked out too hard.” You lied, again, loathing how hard the chair is against your butt and sore muscles, flinching whenever a muscle aches suddenly, remembering how unquenchable your thirst was last night. Nonstop fucking happened in your apartment, hours of skin-to-skin activities had made you limp and as Levi would say, _fucking weak._

Huge, fresh, and screaming hickeys greeted you this morning that you wanted to storm into Levi’s apartment and kick him in the nuts. Good thing you have a concealer, because knowing your friends, you would be in the hot seat if ever they see the marks on your neck.

Modules were handed out to all of you, the professor of this minor but terrible subject gave one final activity and you are officially done with your finals here. You immediately worked on it, ignoring Hanji’s blabbering and occasionally saying yes whenever them and Nanaba asks you questions, something about going to the mall later. You really do not have any kind of plans, so.

“Say, have you seen the invitation for the soiree?” Hanji started, your head lifted up at what they had just said.

You raised a brow at her, “It’s a soiree now? I thought it was just a simple event.” You left your most decent dresses at home! And by home, it meant not your apartment.

“Are you not happy?” Nanaba asks, bewildered because of your reaction, “Just buy one later.”

Hanji scoffs, “You’re lucky you’d get to have a formal date with the computer guy,” Your eyes widened at her sudden remark, Nanaba is now perplexed and looking back and forth at the two of you.

“She’s fucking someone from Comp Engineering, I saw her yesterday…”

Sighing, you eventually let Hanji spill the beans to Nanaba. It is not like they would know, anyway. But, the thought of being scared of your friends knowing bothered you a lot. What if you admit that you and Levi are fucking? Then it would be okay, right?

No it won’t. _It is you and Lev_ i. They would go berserk if they realize that you, a dean’s lister, and Levi, one of the most serious individuals who looks like one who does not have a sex life, is settling in a relationship with no labels. No responsibilities, you know better than that. But that is what makes it safe, right?

 _Him and I, but never ‘us.’_ You felt a twinge in your heart when you thought about it, shaking the thought away and butting in your friends’ conversation.

Still limping, you followed your friends towards a decent boutique when you arrived at the mall. They offered you different kinds of clothing, and luckily, they have dresses which are pleasant enough to make you look pleasant.

“Is it required to have a date?” Nanaba questioned, reading whatever is on the invitation. You shrugged your shoulders, not really interested on having a date.

“What are you, a high school student?”

You rolled your eyes at the both of them, you could already feel the unnecessary argument starting to brew, “I think it depends on you, it would not matter, anyway.” You said, eyeing a white dress from afar.

“But I want to be a high school student!” Hanji whined.

Ignoring your friends, you approached the silk dress. Adoring how nice it looks and envisioning how it might look on you. The saleslady greeted you, giving a kind smile that you returned, “Do you want to try it?”

The dress suited you finely. White’s elegance never fails to make you enchanted, and upon trying the dress, you immediately know that it’s the one.

“Ooh! I’ve got an idea! What if I tell Erwin to ask me out?” Hanji asks, making you laugh while you admire yourself in the mirror. It’s perfect.

“Don’t be silly, I heard he’s planning to ask Marie out.” Nanaba interferes, they are talking from different fitting rooms, you sighed.

“Marie will probably go with Nile,” Hanji rebuts “And where did you learn that from?”

Nanaba cleared her throat, “I heard it from Mike.”

Hanji’s loud teasing is probably heard across the whole shop, spatting various accusations about Nanaba and Mike’s relationship, and the latter defended herself, claiming that they are just friends. And if the person knew about you and Levi, it would probably be worse than this, but just like them, you are all aware that you are just friends.

**_____**

**Hanji:** jst take me w u Erwin

 **Mike:** the man’s sad because of his lil crush

 **Hanji:** yep cmon just ask me i wont reject u c:

The night before the soiree, your group’s groupchat has been louder than it usually was. Turns out, Marie, the girl that Erwin had planned to ask out, has already agreed going with Nile, someone form Architecture. Mike’s with Nanaba, and they easily slipped off everyone’s teasing because it was pretty obvious, even way before. Hanji’s pestering Erwin about taking them to the soiree as his date.

 **Erwin:** Okay, fine.

Moblit’s planning to go alone because according to him, having a date will spoil the fun. You are going alone, too. And so is Levi who is currently lying in your bed, bare and naked.

“They won’t suspect anything if we go alone.” The mutual decision offered many pros, and having a date’s just formality, too. The two of you did not see the point of going with someone, in your terms, _you are done being high school students._

You rested your chin against your palm while you eyed Levi who is scrolling through his phone. Chilly air entered your apartment and you rolled your eyes at the sight of open windows that the both of you had forgotten to close earlier because you were busy snogging.

“‘Cha doin’?” You asked, straddling Levi and snuggling against his chest to steal his warmth. He lets you in by moving the blanket so that the both of you are nicely covered, his cologne still lingering on his skin despite the sweat that had cascaded down his body earlier, while he was busy pounding into you.

He pressed his lips on your forehead, placing his one arm over your bare back, feeling the coldness and gently rubbing it away, “Checking some shit.”

You played with his hair for a while, twirling his jet-black hair in your fingers and occasionally massaging his undercut, earning a groan every once in a while. Your fingers gently walked down to his sharp jawline, reaching his neck. The bruises you have left is now extremely light marks, as they already faded away.

“Will you go home?” You asked, implying for him to stay the night and cuddle with you. His bluish grey eyes looked down at you, softening upon seeing your angelic face.

“I’ll go home tomorrow morning,” He says, placing you on your bed and turning to his side to hug you and pepper your chest with kisses.

_____

Tomorrow evening came by fast, you were picked up by Mike and Nanaba, and now, you are on your way to the hotel venue. Third wheeling has always been your role at dates, you smiled at the thought. This event became an impromptu prom for college students, and you silently hoped that there would be a mobile bar, at least.

Erwin, Moblit, and Hanji waited for the three of you by the entrance, they looked dashing in their clothes. You kissed their cheeks the moment you approached them, and you did not get away from your classmates who praised how well you looked tonight.

The silk, white dress accentuated every feature that you have got. In Mike’s words, “Girl’s damn pretty.”

You presented your stubs upon entrance and your friends picked a seat near the buffet table. These people. You shook your head and followed everyone, sitting in the middle of Hanji and Nanaba as you sat down and let your eyes wander for a moment.

The whole place screamed Winter wonderland and you were glad upon picking the color white for an outfit. Again, people were up for their own shit. Some are already lining up on the mobile bar, taking pictures, some are trying to make out, you lifted your hand when you saw Mikasa and Eren, along with Armin and waved your hands at them.

To accommodate the whole department of engineering, one must have a venue as big as the fucking Earth, and you are glad that the place’s actually wide enough, you can’t stand being in a crowded place, and so is Levi.

“Where’s shorty?”

Erwin looked up upon hearing Hanji’s voice, he’s playing another mobile game with Mike. “He’s with his date, I guess.”

Your heart skipped a beat after hearing what Erwin had just said. _He’s got a what?_

“Really? Who?” Hanji asks, munching up the appetizers on your table.

The blonde man shrugged his shoulders, “I think it’s Ral, she’s our classmate.”

 _Of course_ , who are you to feel jealous? You ran your fingers through your hair to relieve the horrible feeling of being betrayed, because after all, you had no label, no commitments. All you did was fuck, is it bad that your heart felt like it has been stumped on millions of times because of a non-existent relationship? Maybe.

A woman with beautiful auburn hair greeted your sight, next to her is Levi, his hand held hers the way he did with yours after hours of fucking and playing around. You wanted to punch yourself at this very moment. Because somehow, you anticipated that you’d be his girl for the night. You expected him to be next to you, while the both of you exchange meaningful glances and stares that meant a lot more than just “hey”.

Or did you mistook his stares for something more than you were supposed to?

The chair produced a screeching sound as you stood up, grabbing your bag and putting the chair back to its place. You are pretty sure that everyone’s perplexed because of your sudden movements.

“Where are you going?” Hanji held your wrist, demanding an immediate answer.

“I’m thirsty, goin’ to the bar.” You break away from their grasp, and you heard their chair move as well.

Their arm draped around your shoulders, “Ooh, feisty, I’m coming along!”

_____

Warm, strong mixes of alcohol provided your throat the spirit and your system the courage to confront the man later. You want to be demolished, body and soul. You had no fucking idea, that letting go of something that was never yours to begin with would feel this way.

_Okay, that hurts._

Looking to your left, you saw Hanji trying to drink every kind of cocktail, you already know her end game. _Godbless our poor Erwin_ , you thought.

“Hey.”

You hated the familiarity of his voice, and how your heart reacts whenever he is near. Levi fucking Ackerman is next to you, eyeing how you drink the tequila as if it was orange juice.

“Go back to your date, Levi,” You said calmly, sucking on the lemon. Nothing could be more bitter than this night.

He placed his hand on your back, “She asked me to.” Remorse filled his voice. You know Levi. You know that he would not even look at you even just for a second if he already had his eyes on another person.

“It’s okay, Levi.” You can’t even look at him.

His warm hand captured your wrist once again, lightly tugging you, and you could not refuse anyway. You let him lead the way until you reached the secluded garden. The place might be off-limits, but who fucking cares? You are about to get heart broken, might as well do this in a nice place.

“What’s your problem?” You scoffed at his question, glaring at him with your cold eyes. Pain is evident within the depts of your stares, and God knows how sorry Levi is for making you feel this way.

“Really?”

You are about to walk away when he grabbed your hand and forced you to stay in front of him. His strong arms caged your body.

“Fuck, (Y/N), just say something.” He whispered.

The both of you are fools whose hearts resonated against the beat of the other.

“There is nothing in between us, that is my problem! Y-you don’t know how defenseless I have felt when I saw you with her,” You burst, thousands of unsaid sentiments are now overflowing along the tears that had escaped your eyes, “I’m not dumb. You aren’t, too. Why won’t we just fucking admit?”

He sighed against your hair, rubbing your back with his free hand and embracing you with the other, “You know,” He cleared his throat, “The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew that one day you’ll have me,” His hand lifted your face, kissing your tears away, “You weren’t hard to love, (Y/N).”

“I hate how you called me your friend when my heart called you something else, I hate how my being sought for a label while we kept this as a secret,” The music echoed from the function hall, a sign that the main event had already started. Your trembling lips set everything you wanted to say free, “I was fucking scared, Levi. I was scared of commitments and responsibilities, and then you came along…”

Levi pulled you closer to his body, you could feel the turmoil residing within his chest. _“And I don’t want to be scared anymore.”_ You sobbed within his embrace. You are both aware of how you feel. How the little things that mattered to you and him had meant something more than just being friends with benefits.

“Your eyes gave you away,” He chuckled, planting a kiss on your forehead, “I am a shitty person, you know that,” He said, holding you tighter. None of you wanted to let go, because you are both cowards who did not know how to start, and now you are clueless about what will happen if ever you let go, “And I would settle for anything as long as you’d be with me. I was a scum for thinking about the risks of being official without even trying. I was afraid that you’d know me more- I’m fucked up, (Y/N), then you’ll get tired of me…”

He made you look at him directly in the eyes, fondness and passion lurking along the hues of grey and blue, _“And I don’t want you to be tired of me.”_

Your emotions sang as one, the wind accompanying you both as you realized the choices that you have. Along the months of drowning in denials and trying to withdraw against the whisper of your hearts, you found yourself being carried away by the intensity of fate, just to lead you against each other’s embrace.

“Are you scared?” You asked, clinging onto him like there is no more tomorrow, feeling the tenderness of his heartbeats.

“I won’t be, for as long as I am with you.”

You nodded against his embrace, relief washing the anxiety and pain from your system. Commitments are scary, responsibilities seem to be terrifying, but nothing’s worse than letting a chance slip away because of cowardice. _Nothing is worse than not being able to hold his hand and eventually having to let go._

“What do we call us?” You asked, letting him sway you against the cozy Christmas song.

He smiled, planting a soft kiss on your lips, _“Lovers.”_


	10. Cruel

How hot could one night get?

**Genre:** Modern AU, smut, fluff.

 **Warnings:** NSFW, cursing, explicit smut, extreme smut, smut, smut, smut! :)

* * *

Peace had avoidedyou for the entire week, that you have never been this thankful to lounge around without any worries, or so you thought. Dim scented candles and fairy lights contributed to the calm aura which your room provides you. It is a well-deserved Friday night self-pamper day, and you could not be more relaxed. A nice yoga session helped in calming the raging nerves and sore body parts, as the stress you have accumulated evaporated along the subtle smoke from the candles.

Soothing rhythm and blues resonated within the four corners of your room, eventually contributing to the halcyon built upon your soul.

You sighed, lifting your buttocks up in the air while you rested your arms against the yoga mat, doing a puppy pose. A sigh of relief and contentment escaped your lungs, the first semester is finally done, and you can now enjoy your holidays without the burden of motherfucking school works from your motherfucking university. No more panicking because of surprise quizzes, stressing over projects, no more ruined days because of impromptu reports or night time shenanigans just to rush a paper. 

“Nice ass.” The voice of your boyfriend made you jump, delight and excitement flooded your system as you stood up and ran into his arms. Loaded schedules caused you both to endure five days of not seeing each other, and it was torture. You are so fond of him, as he is to you, that you had trouble sleeping without the coziness of his hold. But here you are, home, _at last._

His left hand traveled all the way down to squeeze your ass, while his other hand holds you tight against his body, embracing your not so sweaty body, “Missed you, baby.” He murmurs, softening upon breathing in your scent.

A hum escapes your throat while you let your lover savor the moment of reuniting with you after a hell week.

“I missed you too, pretty boy.” You breathe against his ear, your body feeling warmer while glued against his. Rainbows and butterflies filled your system as you inhale the scent you have longed for, for five _excruciating_ days. 

Levi’s face neared yours without any kind of warning, the space between the two of you vanished as you found his lips clashing against yours. His taste entering your mouth once again, and it tasted like a craving you have always yearned for, and every time you collide, you can’t help but to feel besotted against his passionate kisses. Drowning beneath his touch, a total _slave_ for his heat.

Five weeks without each other formed a longing flame in the both of you, and being together again officially rekindled the hottest flame that itches for love and passion. Your lips found their way to make their own kind of love, starting slow at first, until subtle flicks turned into a war for dominance, and you have always been one to submit and obey.

Wet, hungry muscles danced like swords, the only sound that dared to compete against the small speaker you had set up earlier is the sound of you, making out like there is no more next time, colliding like galaxies aching for more.

“Have you,” Burning desire for his lips made you attack his mouth the moment he moved away, his hair already disheveled because of the way you grabbed onto him just to feel him more, fucking hell, your man is intoxicating, “Been a good girl?” He mutters, after pulling away for a while and kissing you daringly, you almost forgot your name.

The large, oversized shirt you were wearing earlier is now discarded on the floor, exposing your breasts to Levi and to the chilly air, hardening your nipples, making them more sensitive.

“I am a good girl,” You breathed, letting him palm your clothed pussy and groping your breast while he engraves his marks on your open neck. His touch makes you see colors that do not exist and feel sensations you have never felt before, “Your good girl…”

A squeal escaped your lips when you felt a sting of euphoria when his palm smacked your ass, squeezing it tight as you both stumble to get in your bed.

“Damn right,” Levi sighs, taking your left nipple in his mouth and massaging the other while you straddle him, your hands lightly grabbing onto his hair while your hips seemed to have a mind of their own and started to rock against your lover’s hips slowly, rubbing yourself onto him, rubbing your clothed pussy on his clothed cock.

_“You’re my good fuckin’ girl.”_

Sounds of beats from your speaker accentuated the mood, and it feels like the throbbing heat in your panties are synchronizing with the rhythm of songs.

You moaned your boyfriend’s name as his fingers traveled down to your soaking wet core, a thin line of wetness is now visible on your gray panties which Levi loves, so he’s not going to rip this, just this one.

“Missed this?” He teased, gliding his middle finger against your sensitive skin once, earning a sigh from you. His saliva coated his slick finger as he licks his tongue, tasting your juices and smirking upon tasting your ‘love juice’. “Fuck, you did.” His now slicker finger entered you effortlessly, smoothly slipping in against your wet, warm hole.

The sound of his finger going in and out of you clashed against your lewd moans, ten minutes ago, you were doing yoga, and you are glad that you now find yourself squirming under Levi’s touch as he fingers your blazing core, occasionally rubbing his thumb against your sensitive clit.

“A-ah, baby… feels good,” You slurred, eyes rolling in pleasure as he added another finger inside of you, stretching your walls and making you spread your legs wider, offering him a pretty view of your exposed pussy, with his fingers in it.

Warm breath tickles your inner thighs, and you feel Levi’s lips planting subtle kisses on them while he finger fucks you. Some stray hairs of his titillate you even more, God he is so near your goddamn fucking cunt, why won’t he just-

“Eat me up,” You shamelessly begged, feeling a lot warmer than you already are, “ _Lick me, fuck me…”_

He looked up from below you and a mischievous glint from his steel grey eyes made your heart pound harder, your pussy clenching around his digits. Without any kind of warning, _Levi fucking Ackerman_ dives in between your thighs and thrusts his tongue in you, a hot, sloppy lick of his tongue makes you shiver in pleasure and frustration as he suddenly pulled away, a string of your wetness connecting your core to his mouth.

“Like that?” He teased, now kissing on your pussy, not using his tongue. Never in your life had you felt so offended.

You glare at him, using your elbows to elevate your upper body while you thrust your hips up against his face. Your boyfriend smirks, he completely knows what you are trying to do, but he is such a motherfucker when it comes to teasing you, his arms pinned your thighs down, prohibiting any kind of movement.

“Levi… I want!” You whine, trying to lift your hips to meet his fucking light kisses on your pussy. The wetness is dripping from your core, Levi wanted to lap you like a wild animal, but he decided to be an _asshole_ for a little while just because you are cute when you’re mad.

Much to your dismay, he completely stopped touching you, both of your legs placed on top of his shoulders while your thighs are widely open, you are completely exposed to him while he still has his damn sweatpants on! _Fucking unfair._

“What does my baby want?” He asks, tracing your folds, taking advantage of your sensitivity. Levi bit his lower lip, the smell that you emit is making him hornier, harder, and more impatient as the fabric of his clothing is now tighter than ever against his cock.

“I want…” You wanted to cry as you begged for his touch, you are aching for him. You want Levi, you want him right now, you want him to make you feel good until you cry.

His dark eyes looked down on you, your boyfriend is hot as fuck, and you are so horny that you could fuck every part of him.

“Hm?” The vibration of his throat against your thighs is not helping, too, especially his voice. How you missed his voice.

“I want,” With every strength you have got, you tried squirming against his strong arms and attempted to overpower him, only to earn a harsh slap on the side of your thigh for misbehaving. Levi loves being in charge, and fuck, you do not want to piss him off right now _, “I want your tongue in me.”_

Every kind of sound that leaves your lips is now coated with dirty profanity as he savor your pussy like a wild animal. His tongue teasing your clit and painting it with his spit, you want to thrust your hips just to meet his warm muscle but his strong hold prohibits you to do so.

The fire in your body burns a little bit hotter when you felt the familiar knot starting to build up in your stomach, “B-baby, m’gonna cum!” You moaned, warning Levi. But the man loves it when you cum in his mouth.

Stars burned brighter as you rode your high and eventually releasing your juices on your boyfriend’s mouth much to his delight, as he started to savor the sweet aftermath of your high.

“C’mere, baby.”

Your hungry lips met once again, dancing in a sloppy kiss as you tasted yourself on Levi’s lips. Your juices are scattered all over his pretty face, and you fucking love it. As a couple, the two of you had already experimented with each other’s bodies for the sake of feeding your curiosities and trying out new kinks, causing every sex to get kinkier after another.

“M’gonna make you squirt,” Levi mutters, removing his sweatpants along his briefs, freeing his proud, hard cock oozing in pre cum. And he wasted no time, looking at you like a predator and pumping his shaft, exciting himself more.

A lewd and flushed look is plastered across your face, you are a simp for your boyfriend, and the sight of his dick intensified your scorching desire to fuck him- for him to fuck you, rather.

Levi’s smirk became hotter, or was it you, as he admired how your pussy glistened for him. He knew how you throbbed for his cock.

“Open wide, sweet cheeks.”

His length immediately hammered your insides the moment he went it, your lips parting as uncontrolled moans and sighs won against the loud speaker, “F-fuck, Levi!” You cried, moaning every time he hits on your most sensitive spot. The sound of his skin slapping on to you and your wetness against his cock turned you on even more, clenching your walls around him.

“You’re killing me, woman.” He pants, groaning when he felt your walls tighten on his cock, causing him to pound on to you faster, driving you insane.

Heaven came down to you at this very moment and you have called all the saints just to express the pleasure that you are earning, you love it when he fucks you, he loves it when he fucks your cute little cunt.

You are a moaning goddess underneath him while you play with your breasts as he thrusts his hard cock in you, twitching when he hit your g-spot.

“You like it when I do that, baby?” He asks, occasionally planting sloppy kisses on your chest, placing love bites all over you.

“I love it when you do me.” You confessed, adding fuel to the burning flame inside of Levi, making him pounce into your harder, faster, and deeper.

Because of his fervid touch and with the help of dirty talks, you unexpectedly came, clenching your walls tighter than before, earning a low moan from Levi as his lips parted a bit. You know he is nearing his climax, too, so you clench while he fucks you while you reached out to play with his hard little nipples.

Hot load gushed inside your walls as your boyfriend groaned in pleasure, releasing five long days of patience inside of you.

_You got creampied._

Before you can even protest, Levi grabbed you suddenly, flipping your positions as you are now above him, straddling his torso while he rubs your thighs, acknowledging the slight sore that you are feeling.

“Fuck my face,” He orders in a stern tone, his ravenous eyes staring at you like a vulture about to savor its prey, “Ride my mouth, c’mon, baby.” He squeezed your ass and lightly smacks them, making them bounce, too bad he could not see.

You reluctantly lowered your self onto his face, “Levi, I-I’m still-” Your words are cut off upon feeling his tongue playing with your clit once again, your body convulsed because of your sensitivity.

“A-ah! Fuck me,” Moans and curses came out of your mouth once again, fueling Levi and pushing you harder onto him as your hips moved on their own, not just fucking his mouth but even his nose, and your boyfriend loves it. _He loves it so much._

The overwhelming feeling of climax drives you insane once again, pushing you to your limits as your lover continued moving his wet muscle against your sensitive bud.

“L-Levi, move away I-I’m-” You stuttered, trying to fight against his grip, but the more you move, the more his mouth fucks you, the more his tongue flicks against your clit, the more you feel that you are going to explode.

His dark eyes greeted your glistening ones, you want to cry because of the immense pleasure of fucking your boyfriend’s face, you are pretty sure your moans could be heard miles away.

“Squirt on my fucking face.”

Just like a trigger, his words made you release your clear juices on him, moaning out loud as he continues to eat you out and you keep on coming.

_God fucking damn._

_____

“Stop looking at me like that,” Your hands lightly came in contact with Levi’s sharp jaw, trying to turn his head away from you, but his eyes have their way of feasting over your body. His hungry, dark, and eager stares makes you feel so conscious, despite the fact that he had worshipped you for countless time a few moments ago.

And now you lie within the comfort and warmth of your bed. The sheets which are now embedded with his sweat and cologne pacify your ache for him, while he lay beside you on his side, admiring the post-coital glow that you currently have, feeling proud of the marks he had painted all over your neck up to your chest, and even your inner thighs.

“Can’t help it,” He smirks, his hands founding their way down your butt and lightly smacking it, earning him a playful glare from you.

You look cute with swollen lips and his marks all over you.

“Stop teasing me,” You pouted, scooting in closer to him as every fiber of your body quivered when you felt his finger on your sensitive pussy once again, “You are cruel, baby.” You sighed, letting him play with your sensitive core.

He let out a chuckle, pressing a kiss on your forehead and kissing you slow when his lips met yours.

“It’s affection, woman,” Levi sneers, squeezing one of your boobs, “We’re still going to shower.”


	11. Paradox (Pt.1)

Perhaps, the definition of hell is subjective. 

**Genre:** Angst, fluff.

 **Warning:** Mentions of death, swearing.

* * *

Being one of Scouting Legion’s strongest soldiers, you have been known for being strict and harsh, just like humanity’s strongest himself. Numerous scouts have feared you and they often consider themselves unlucky when they had to train under your supervision. Pushing someone to their limits, for you, is an effective way of exploring and finding out your own capabilities. And it is your responsibility to teach something helpful to these bunch of kids, luckily, some did exceed your expectations.

You are not as stern as you look. Of course, when in duty, a soldier must always be in composure. Dedication is one of your finest attributes. The passion of your heart has always been about saving lives and putting your own at risk just to save humanity. Commander Keith Shadis praised you himself, commending you for your very own skills and the characteristics that you possess. That was before Erwin was promoted as the next commander, but you had no grudge towards the man, you and him are great friends, along with Hanji and Mike.

The operation to seize the famous underground thugs was one adventurous and thrilling mission for you. Of course, not only did you get to fight along your buddies, but it was your first time in the underground, too.

Mike gripped the poor man’s jet black hair with one hand as he pushed his face into the dirty puddle of water, you grimaced at the thought of how dirty the water could be as you slightly nudged your friend.

And that is your ultimate paradox. You are harsh person with a soft heart, and sometimes, you can’t help but to feel guilty whenever you think you overdid a punishment or went too hard for an order. Your fingers are already used to your nails almost slaughtering your skin whenever you raise your voice on a cadet.

“Levi…” His cold voice screamed the disdain and irritation that he is currently feeling, you took the chance to walk past your friend’s current position and stare at the faces of the captured people.

Steel grey slanted eyes greeted you the moment you stood next to Erwin. If eyes could kill, all of you would be dead by now. The girl with the red hair who’s next to him looked a few years younger, while the taller man seemed to be the same age as Levi. Your little staring contest lasted for a few more seconds until your section commander decided to interrogate and ‘blackmail’ him to join the survey corps, in which he ultimately succeeded.

“Woah, he’s strong!” Hanji exclaims, admiring the swift and calculated movements of the new recruits, particularly Levi. He obliterated every hindrance effortlessly, slicing through the dummy’s nape deep enough, and the way he held the blades was quite peculiar.

“Yeah,” You agreed, eyeing the man, “That’s why Erwin encouraged them to join us.”

The trio did not need training because they already excelled from the usage of ODM gear, to handling the blades and using their own strategy to fight. Days passed, one after another, it passed quickly like how arid leaves fall in the month of June.

Another expedition had commenced. You fought along Hanji, yet your instincts felt that something wrong is going to happen the moment dismal skies started to swallow the once clear empyrean filled with clouds and the color of blue.

Every slice, every splash of blood, every sting of pain, and every titan you kill makes up who you are. Drenched clothes sticked onto your body, a foggy view made it hard for you to navigate through the open field. What about the others? You thought.

“What’s going o-” You were cut off when you saw Erwin trying to stop Levi from killing him. Sorrow and melancholia burned beneath the cold eyes of the raging man. He was mad as hell, the pain of losing the two people he only had was too much that he went berserk, _how painful could that be?_

The turmoil the painted the skies grey a few moments ago started to clear as your friends left, and you chose to stay in front of the man while he stared into nowhere, dazed and filled with misery. Without minding the mud and dirty that will stick into your clothing, you sat in beside Levi, your legs crossed and your cape is now surely covered in mud.

_“Do you believe in hell?”_

The question slipped out of your tongue like a sudden burst of the wind. As a person who lived in a horrible place encaged within walls that are surrounded by titans, you grew up questioning everything else. Gods and heavens, existence, and the purpose of living. Curiosity managed to make you doubt other people’s beliefs.

_“Fuck off.”_

You smiled sadly at him, but he does not seem to notice the look on your face. He is too broken after what just happened.

“It’s not your fault… People come and go, nothing is permanent,” You started, following his eyes and looking over to what he’s staring at, “It is the inevitable, and it’s okay. But I hope you won’t deprive yourself of the chance to meet new people who could be your friends.”

He looked at you, the gloom still evident in his sad eyes, “What are you trying to say?”

You smiled at him, “Just don’t be afraid to start again.”

_____

Not long after the expedition, Erwin Smith became the commander of the Survey Corps. Promoting you, Hanji, and Mike as squad leaders. 

Cadets lined up in front of you, others are shaking in fear, and some remained calm and composed. You ordered them to practice hand-to-hand combat by pairs and they instantly obeyed, finding their own partners and trying to win against the other.

“Tch.” A scoff ringed through your ears, and you already know that it is Levi. Days after the failed expedition and his loss, you had managed to gain his trust and be an acquaintance of his. Not really friends, yet, because the man had built barriers for years, and you don’t want to force him to open up immediately.

A smirk is plastered across your face as you look to your left, greeted by the sight of Levi and his freshly shaved undercut. You really can’t oppose to the gossips about Levi and how handsome he is, making him a heartthrob in the base.

“You know, Levi, I personally believe that we are in hell right now.”

He did not look at you but clicked his tongue on what you had said while observing the cadets like a supervisor. Because of his strength, Erwin completely decided to exempt him at trainings. He proved himself enough when he showed how many titans he could slaughter without exerting much effort.

“This place is a shithole.” You chuckled at his remark, his bluntness and his usage of words never fail to make you snort, even when you are in important meetings with the commanders.

The both of you grew fond of each other, as it started with small talks, slight teasing, and eventually you became friends. Levi would not admit but your subtle ways taught him how to trust again, the man trusted you like he trusts Erwin, and gradually, he learned how to broaden his circle of people, becoming friends with Mike and Hanji after a while.

The four seasons have passed, you have experienced trips outside the walls alongside your friends. Winter came by and thank goodness for the layers of clothing that you wore, well, thanks to the military for creating a uniform that would make you curse the entire summer and keep you cozy during chilly days.

That was when you knew about Levi’s slight obsession with tea. Not long ago had he been promoted as the captain of Special Operations squad, and he is granted his own office, too. And there you saw his collection of tea leaves and a set or two of teacups.

“Levi, did you know that-”

He cut you off, glaring at you upon your entrance to his office, a bunch of papers neatly arranged on his desk, “If that is another dumb fact from Hanji I swear, (Y/N)…” He sighs, returning to his work and you shamelessly walked towards his table and sat on the chair in front of it. Levi is always like that, acting as if he is going to do terrible things to you, but he did nothing, really.

Through your delicate approach and the talks you have initiated from time to time, you managed to learn more about Levi. How cruel it was in the underground and how fighting is needed to survive, he told you about the man who taught him everything he knew and the man who raised him who is names Kenny the Ripper. The two of you are often seen together by everyone in the Scouting Legion, and there were rumors about the two of you dating.

But in reality, that was just the two of you talking as if it was _only the two of you_ in the world.

Erwin himself noticed the quite unique friendship that you and Levi have. It was different from your friendship with Hanji, Mike and him. Because you never talk to Levi the same way you talk to anyone else, as Levi does to you.

When you two are together, it is as if _nothing else really matters_ to the both of you.

“Are you two a thing?” Hanji once interrogated when you were eating alone in the mess hall, you immediately shook your head and looked at them as if they were crazy.

“What? No! We are just friends.”

People assumed that you became softer because of the man, but in reality, you were never really harsh at all. It is something that they would never understand. Your dedication to your role as a soldier is so solid that you may appear as a savage squad leader, but when off duty, you are softer than a flower’s petal.

Levi’s squad has been formed, their group is consisted of the strongest soldiers. Of course, they are an elite squad. And because of cadet trainings, your daily random talks about ‘shit’ as Levi would say, is now interrupted. The 104th cadets offered you a lot of potential that you considered having some of them on your own squad, especially the Ackerman girl.

Now, you are often seen training some of them one by one, particularly Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. Your officer friends sometimes find themselves laughing and watching you ‘torture’ the kids, sometimes, Levi does so too, sometimes.

One evening, you caught Levi all alone while sipping on his tea, and you decided to take the chance and catch up with him. Two weeks without actually talking made you feel emotions that you could not explain, the wooden chair screeched against the floor as you pulled it out and sat on it.

“Hey, I missed you, you know.” You said, making Levi almost choke on his black tea.

“What do you need, brat?” He harshly asks, making you snort.

“Oh, I am a brat now, too?”

The man shook his head at you, but deep inside, he is somewhat relieved that the two of you finally got the chance to talk again. You may be a person who spats nonsense (like Hanji, as Levi would often say) sometimes, but he would not deny that he enjoys your company.

You continued to blabber about your day while he listens to you and occasionally agrees, especially is it has something to do with Erwin doing weird things with his eyebrows, or Mike being weird. Your mere presence is enough to make him feel you being a great friend, because you are a warm person. So, he does not get it whenever people say gossip and complain about you being too cold and harsh, because that was just you, doing your role.

“Are you dating the corporal?” Armin asked you one time while you helped him feed the horses, the question nearly caught you off-guard and it did made you ponder about you and Levi’s relationship.

“No, we’re just friends.” You smiled at him, but the doubt in Armin’s blue eyes is just so evident that it made you wonder if he believed your answer.

Almost everyone in the Survey corps had gossiped about the possible score in between two of the legion’s best soldiers, heck, even Erwin was curious. But after everything that had circulated, no one got answers, so they simply assumed that the both of you are soldiers who dedicate yourselves for the sake of humanity, _you have no time for love._

The dedication, passion, and kindness of your soul is what made Levi trust you like a best friend. You are the only person he could rant on to, the only one to hear his snarky comments whenever he is doing paperwork. You helped him to start again, and perhaps that was the corporal’s paradox. The paradox of not wanting to be attached yet finding himself _falling for you._

_____

Unspoken uncertainties are what kept you and Levi as friends. You both are not dumb, not dense, just two scums who are neither scared nor in denial to admit. You knew you were fucked when your day no longer feels complete without talking to him, when small acts of ‘friendship’ felt like something else, and when it dawned to you how out of place your feelings are.

Ever since the Eren incident came, his squad’s instructed to take care of Eren in the old base. That meant weeks of not seeing Levi, and you did not think twice when Hanji asked you to come with them. Why would you let a chance slip if it meant granting you the opportunity to see and talk to your… friend, right?

Hanji barged in the meeting room, accidentally breaking the piece of wood that they have used as a lock because of the force, shocking everyone in the room.

By everyone, it meant the _two of them._

Yours and Hanji’s eyes widened upon the sight of Petra Ral straddling the captain, their faces are so near, you could not see Petra but you saw how intense Levi gazes at the woman, it was a sight that no one will ever expect to see. A wave of disdain engulfed your feelings, you are somewhere in between the lines of jealous and disappointed. In a span of two weeks, he already managed to find someone else. But who are you to complain?

_You were just his friend._


	12. Paradox (Pt. 2)

Indeed, the definition of hell is subjective. Read part 1 [here](https://ruler-of-stars.tumblr.com/post/638218186866753536/paradox-pt-1).

**Genre:** Angst, fluff.

 **Warnings:** Cursing.

* * *

 _Treacherous._ You did not know why or how, but what you just saw made you feel like you have been betrayed. Your heart broke in so many fragments when you realized that there really is nothing going on between the two of you. Levi Ackerman introduced you to your own kind of hell and left you in such a forsaken place just to go with an angel.

“Welp, I guess Eren’s not here.” Hanji yanked your arm away from the scene. Your friend is not dumb, and you often curse Hanji for being too smart, that you could not keep secrets from them. They are aware of how you had harbored feelings for the corporal in a short amount of time. A tough façade was enough to fool the others, especially the cadets, but never Hanji. They knew how soft you are inside the shell you have built, how pure you are despite the harsh approach of the world, how your on-duty self contradicts the real you.

Hanji is painfully aware of how _hurt_ you are right now.

“Oi, four eyes!” You bit your lip, following Hanji despite hearing Levi’s voices, his footsteps are getting closer.

Hanji laughed awkwardly, shooing the captain away, “Oh, don’t worry about us, Levi! We won’t tell what we just saw, we promise!” They said, turning to face Levi, but you remained in your position. The picture of what you just saw never left your mind. “Right, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah,” You muttered, breathing deeply before turning around to face the man, “It’s alright, captain.” You said with the utmost formality, that even Hanji beside you almost dropped their jaw wide open.

The corporal’s heart felt a pang of guilt burning through his own heart, he did not know what to say or how to react. You were never formal with him before, you were never cold. And Levi knew he fucked up when flame that burned in your eyes whenever you stare at him is now as _cold as ice_. He did not know what to do when you and Hanji’s figure slowly took off. He fucked up, and so you walked away.

Rocks caused the carriage to shake a little bit, your eyes never left the wooden seat, and Hanji’s concern grew as time passed by.

“What was that?” Hanji asks, you just shrugged your shoulders, you are in no mood to defend yourself on why you acted like that earlier. And it’s not like you have to deny it, too. Hanji already knows.

“Friends don’t get upset when you see them with somebody else.”

A deafening silence enveloped the both of you the whole ride home. Your anxious heart does not seem to know how to pump properly anymore, causing your chest to feel erratic, and your stomach now filled with dead butterflies.

You never played a game, you never participated in the war, yet _you lost._ What hurts more than losing without even starting?

_____

Every second of training became a blessing. Your squad member dodged as you threw a kick, earning a sense of pride from you _. At last, they are learning_ , you thought. A month had passed after the incident in the old headquarters. Hanji never talked about it again, you and Levi never talked, nor had you acknowledged his presence.

It is hard to ignore the captain, especially when he has a special place deep inside your soul. It’s hard to remove his remnants out of your system, he’s not just Levi. He’s someone who made you feel like his world revolved around you, someone who’s touch sends shivers down every fiber of your being, someone who made you hear music that does not exist.

But he’s also someone who made you believe that all of it was a part of your _fallacies._

A kick in the stomach woke you up from the plethora of thoughts that clouded your mind, your hand immediately blocked your member’s punches, and with one swift move, he found himself lying in the ground.

“Alright, that’s it for today. All of you did well, do better next training.” You smiled at them. The squad grew fond of you as they gradually recognize your true self. They understood that your austere self is why you are known as one of the best squad leaders of the scout, and you are glad that they did.

The westerlies flew by your body and swept some of the stray hair that sticks on your face. Like a pigment that spilled on an empty canvas, the sky is once again succumbing to the gloomy shade of dark blue. Hot stars gradually appeared as you stayed outside, admiring the beauty of dusk engulfing the once vibrant sunset.

A warm presence occupied the space beside you, and you did not even bother looking. You knew who it is, _how could you not?_

The scent that you grew fond of flew beneath your nose, it’s still subtle.

“How are you?” He asked. From your peripheral vision, you could see him staring at the stars, too.

You wanted to combust. How could he act like everything is okay? How could he talk to you as if nothing happened? How could he, if you were forced to get used to the sound of melancholia and self-doubt because of him?

“I’m alright.” You muttered.

Irony filled the atmosphere. You wanted to scream and break down in front of him. A myriad of questions filled your heart and mind, thousands of unsaid words, sundry clarifications yet you sat next to him, unable to speak. And how you wanted to curse the world for making you so weak, one of humanity’s toughest soldiers, and all it takes is one Levi Ackerman to make you falter.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Every single thing about him perplexes you, how he manages to be hot and cold at the same time. How he is fragile and too broken inside but extremely tough outside, how he made you feel like there was something in between the two of you, _while there really isn’t_ and how he made you love and hate him at the same time.

“For what happened.” Levi moved a bit closer to you, and you moved away, the sensation of grass lightly tickled your palm. Him being near you is the last thing that you want to happen, because one touch, one look, one smile, you knew that he’d have you once again.

A sad smile formed on your lips, “It’s alright, I’m your _friend_ ,” You looked at him, your glossy sad eyes reflected all of the stars, and he wanted to make everything okay. “I’m supposed to be happy for you.”

“You’re not just my friend.”

Every star seemed to burn for you the moment you’ve heard what just came out of his lips, enthusiasm and doubt pooled in your stomach.

“What am I to you, Levi?”

At that time, you did not care about anything else. The way your soul demands for an answer is screaming within the depths of your eyes, and the captain could see that. He knows you too well. He knows how you found tranquility whenever you talk to him, he grew fond of how you tell him stories about you and your day, not minding if he is busy or not. He got used of how you complain about yourself and ask him for advice to make yourself a better person. Gradually, he learnt how to burn for every single fragment of yours and love every single thing that you hate about yourself.

“You are… someone.” He muttered, and you now you have felt the anticipation waver, like Icarus who soared up high just to betide with his greatest downfall. An answer with a lot of uncertainties, an incomplete answer… it was as if he did not give you an acceptable response. You wanted to hear something else, something that would rekindle the sparks of the flame you once made, and how you wish you could lie; _the blaze that you both made still burns deep in your core._

A scoff escaped your lips, and with a trembling sigh, tears started to form and fall from your starry eyes. They are fiery when you are soaring, scorching with every ounce of passion and rage that lived through your entire being as you fought titans and strive for survival. Soft whenever you are yourself, you have the kindest eyes that could easily be read, ones that could say a thousand words with just one look. And right now- _sad eyes_ , a reflection of your soul that screams for whys and suffers because of the pain, every inch of you felt numb, and your irises mirrored what ached within you. Heaven knows how Levi wanted to make everything okay.

“I’m tired of maybes, captain.” Warm, silky hands palmed through your face as the uncontrollable sobs took over you. It was too much. It’s too much- _he’s too much._ Blue consumed your warmth and replaced it with every single emotion except for anything that you’ve wanted. Tears cascaded down your face, and you were just so sad. Too sad, that you felt the moon cry for you as well.

_I loved you too soon._

“You are someone to me, (Y/N),” Levi’s embrace caressed what hurts inside of you, and you wanted to curse the world for making you too weak for this man. It took him one touch, and you could find yourself rushing back to him. “I don’t want to lose you.” With his head now buried on the crook of your neck, you could not help but to feel helpless. You are hopeless when you are under his touch.

Your sobs consumed the silence that almost made you deaf earlier, with the sun kissing the dark sky goodbye. You pushed Levi away with every strength you have got, you pushed him away for as long as you could, because you are aware of how he makes you defenseless against him.

“Y-you keep on leading me onto something that doesn’t exist!” Angry tears and the frantic beats of your heart were louder than the voice of crickets. The captain’s steel grey eyes are filled with guilt and pain, and you couldn’t feel anything but rage at all. You fucking hate it. You are supposed to be one of the strongest, you were commended as one of the greatest, and here you are, _here you fucking are._

As if a thin thread snapped inside the man in front of you, Levi grabbed you by the shoulders, his sudden actions made you feel shocked as you stared at him right in the eyes and you almost found yourself there.

“Fuck it, (Y/N), I fucking love you, can’t you see?”

He wanted to shout, he wanted to scream to your face how much his heart burns for you. The captain was too whipped, he fell _too hard_ , and it scared him.

“If you truly love me, you wouldn’t do that.” The picture of him and Petra that night flashes in your mind once again, and it brought the feeling of betrayal that you have dealt with. It provoked the overwhelming emotions that almost broke you into smithereens.

He stared directly at you, eyes not blinking, yet glossy enough to reflect the constellations you once talked about. “Nothing happened in between us…” He said softly, eyes softening upon seeing you so hurt because of him, “I was about to push her away, and then you came… and I didn’t know what to fucking do, (Y/N).” He admits, his head hung low. The jet black hair framed his face, with a few strands sticking to his face because of sweat.

“I-I can’t.” You sobbed, dropping on the ground and burying your face into your knees as you pull them closer to your chest. It’s hard to see Levi. Falling in love was so fucking easy, but this right here is not. Because right now, you are two individuals with different sentiments, traumas, both weakened by the thought that lingered in both of your minds- _I could lose you after this._ Two individuals who are scared enough to run away yet _terrified_ to let go of each other’s hands.

Levi breathed in, he couldn’t look at you, too. And so, he stared at the starry sky, something that represents your eyes very well. The same sky that watched as you two slow danced in a world full of chaos and despair.

“It’s only you, (Y/N). Always you.”

He kneeled in front of your weeping state, his hands once again found their way to your moist face, admiring the beauty that you hold, adoring the person that he loves.

“Tell me, baby,” He whispered. Your glossy eyes met his grey ones that scorched with his love for you, his voice is weak, almost breaking, like a fragile glass that would break even in the lightest touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You wanted to break into pieces and fool yourself that everything was a chicanery. You had no idea where to set your foot, nor place yourself, as you find yourself in a conundrum filled with the question he just asked. And perhaps every prayer that you’ve whispered to the Gods never really reached them, every prayer that revolves around him.

_Don’t take him away from me._

“Yes.” You muttered, the searing pain of imagining him dancing with someone else tore a muscle out of your heart. The woe of every possibility of him being happy with someone else other than you burned every fiber of your weeping heart.

_No._

“Tell me to go,” His eyes begged for you to make him stay, but he loves you enough to go to the other side of the world and stay away, for as long as it will make you happy. “Tell me to stay the fuck away, baby.” He pleaded, because the captain knows how damn hard this will be for him, especially if it dodn’t come from your mouth. The very lips that spoke words like poetries and told him stories that had him captivated.

“I hate you.”

_I am madly in love with you._

“I love you.” Levi states, the blaze that once soared in his irises is now replaced with the melancholia that dwelled within him.

“Damn you!” You spatted, your face now painted with every tear you have shed. Every droplet that consists of emotions you truly feel, and the words you cannot say.

_Don’t go._

“Just go.” A weak mutter finally escaped from your mouth.

_Please, don’t go._

The corporal heaved a sigh as his own kind of hell pierced through every vein of his body, tortured upon your hurt being, pained because of everything he had caused you. _You are better off without him_ , he thought. And like a magnet being forced to resist the urge of staying, his feet started to walk away from you. The familiar body that you have grown fond of is slowly getting away. He’s leaving. Levi’s leaving.

With your trembling knees and weakened arms, you ran as fast as you can. The wind slapped across your face, the dirt now imprinted with your footprints, the moon shined every so beautifully, like a proud heavenly body that shined brighter than everything else.

Your arms embraced the captain’s torso, his heart beats along with yours as you bury your face on his back, drenching his shirt with your warm tears that never seem to cease.

“I don’t want you to go.” You sobbed, locking him tighter in between your arms. You wanted him here with you, not anywhere else, not with someone else.

_What would I do without you?_

In a flash, he turned around and enveloped you in his warmth, and fuck how he felt like home. The scent and sensation that you have yearned for is now finally within your reach.

“I’ll stay with you.” He whispered, trying to comfort you using his words, caressing your back and trying to get you to stop crying. But you couldn’t help it, you loved him too much, it’s hell to see him walk away.

His warm fingers coaxed your face as he kissed your tears away, planting warmth on every inch of your skin. You have no fucks left to give. With your right arm, you guided his face close to yours and he knew you- he knew what you wanted.

A gentle yet fervid kiss eased every kind of pain you’ve had to deal with for the past couple of weeks, replacing it with the rekindled heat of the fire that almost died. The love that almost didn’t make it.

“Stay with me, for all of my life.”

You love the man.

You are deeply, madly in love with Levi Ackerman, as he is to you.

_Hell is a place where you don’t exist._


	13. Hoodie

Levi’s clothes are disappearing day by day. Prompt from [this](https://rulerofstars.tumblr.com/post/637221947980300288/an-i-made-this-for-no-reason-all-of-my-prompts) list.

**Genre:** Modern AU, fluff, kinda crack?

 **Warnings:** Implied smut, swearing.

* * *

“Stop hogging the blanket!” He clicks his tongue at you, your name coming out of his mouth in a demanding tone, he sounded like your _mother_. You ignored him anyway, submitting to the warmth and softness of the fabric and turning your back on him, making your lover scoff.

“How dare you.” He mutters.

The morning came fast, your man and his punctuality never cease, he woke up before his alarm and did productive things before deciding to take a shower and pick some clothes. His eyebrows rose at the sight of his unusual closet.

Levi never spoke up about your habits. How you lightly snore when you sleep, how you whine to yourself when you can’t find your things, when you make a mess and leave it for exactly one hour before deciding to clean it up.

You are weird in your own, little way. And Levi usually does not mind.

But these days, the man’s closet seemed to be getting bigger as weeks pass by. There is something wrong but he can’t point it out. _Is he losing clothes?_

Levi grew accustomed of waking up without the duvet, and sometimes without his pillows, too, but in the three years that you are in a relationship, he never witnessed you take his clothes… in short, he hadn’t caught you, yet.

———

You lay on your bed while flicking through your phone, browsing through the newsfeed and gossiping online while hugging your boyfriend’s black hoodie. It’s one of his favorites, you knew that, but it became one of yours, too! Besides, he doesn’t seem to notice…

Sounds made by the fan is white noise to your ears, you swear your eyelids are getting heavier moment by moment. Regret filled your heart as you realize that you could have been in Levi’s apartment today, but he said that he’d work late, so you decided to go home to your own nest because it’s been two weeks since you last slept in your own bed.

You kind of miss your boyfriend’s place, now. His scent just lingered all over the apartment and words can’t describe how much you love it. But, it’s fine, _I have his hoodie tonight anyway_ , you thought.

Just as you were about to concede to the drowsiness due to your incredibly hectic day, the door of your bedroom gradually opened, the light from your living room illuminating the dark, cold nook.

Levi stood by the doorway, eyeing you. His suspicion did not fail him, eyes darting to the hoodie residing in your arms. Your sleepiness seemed to evaporate as you realize what he had realized.

“I knew it!” He says, barging into your room. He had been cold all day and God knows how salty he was at work just because he wasn’t with his favorite hoodie!

“I promise, I didn’t steal your hoodie—” You defended yourself and you were cut off when your man stole his hoodie away from you, “Hey, give it back!” You stood up, ready to fight for the piece of clothing.

He glared at you, keeping the hoodie so close to him you felt kinda jealous. Realizing how serious he is about his clothes, you smiled sheepishly after realizing that he might go through your closet and go berserk the moment he finds out how full your closet is because of his own clothes.

“I’ve been cold all day because of you, woman.” He spat out your name as if he had loathed you, he is so serious about this!

With the sleepiness already gone, you stood in front of him, scratching his undercut and grinning when you had felt him groan under your touch.

“How about I keep you warm tonight, yeah?” You offered, mischievousness glinting in your eyes. And of course, who is he to decline? He needs your warmth after a long, tiring, and cold damn day.

——

Soreness has greeted your body first thing in the morning. Every part of you aches, while your lover who’s cheek is currently squished against your chest is sleeping soundly. Bruises of last night’s hot love-making is evident on his neck and chest, and you really don’t want to think about yours.

Limping from the bed to the bathroom, a smirk formed on your swollen lips, seeing his hoodie on you.

_Hah, at least I get to keep it._


	14. Sunsets and Mishaps

A requested one.

 **Genre:** Angst, light fluff.

 **Warnings** : Swearing, mentions of blood, gore, deaths.

* * *

The taste of the warm, strong tea eased the coldness caused by the chilly morning of an expedition. You have the habit of waking up early and being productive whenever there is one, just to calm yourself down and have a good start before heading outside the walls and encountering titans. Being out there could have two outcomes only, the first, you’d come back alive, and the second, you don’t. Every second spent before every venture is special to you, for no one will ever know what could happen next.

An assuring warmth from the rays that slipped through the window pain sent solace through the dubious mind that bothered your entire system. If the sunrise is this beautiful, then should you be looking forward for the day?

“You’re early, (Y/N)!” Moblit greeted, sitting next to you, and Hanji who has a bunch of different food in their hand sat across you. The latter, your best friend and squad leader had notable dark circles under their eyes, accompanied by the messy hair _. Staying up late for experiments, again_ , you thought.

A piece of bread has been shoved in your hand as Sasha, one of your favorite cadets passed by your table and greeted you with a wink, you smiled at her.

“You are, too.” Hanji scoffed at your reply and glared at Moblit.

“He woke me up!”

“Of course, you told me to wake you up!”

“Not this early!”

“It’s your normal wake-up time! You’re just sleep-deprived, squad leader!”

Because of the noisy quarrel in front, you wanted to walk away and just sleep for a little bit more. These two never seem to hear each other even when they are millimeters close, they always shout!

The atmosphere of the mess hall transitioned from light to heavy when the intimidating aura of the elite squad entered the room. Their mere presence is enough to justify the reasons why they belong in the so called Special Operations Squad, and the number of titans they have obliterated is mind-blowing and you can’t help but to wonder, are they really human beings?

A familiar back profile made your heart flutter, his undercut makes you weak, and the way he held the tea cup as if he’s afraid to break it into pieces.

_So he’s up early, too._

“Aren’t you going to kiss your lover?” Hanji asked, making you blush furiously. That question was so sudden!

Moblit immediately interfered, “Lovers don’t kiss all the time, Hanji-san!” He said, earning an approval from you.

Little by little, your whole squad appeared and occupied the empty spaces available. Your eyes occasionally dart onto Levi, who’s quietly listening to the conversation of his own squad and speaks every now and then. You wanted to go to him and spend the rest of your morning with him before you set off outside the walls, but you don’t want to interfere with his time for his squad. You are well-aware of your boundaries. How you should keep your feelings out of missions and focus on the objective. You and him had talked about this kind of matter ever since you’ve started dating.

And how you should keep your relationship as lowkey as possible.

Gentle yet meaningful habits pacified the yearning that burned for the both of you, the littlest things that you make, the slightest details that he considers, is what kept you sane. After all, it was you whom he would come home to.

But, you would not deny how much it irks you… to see him too close to another woman, yet not being able to do something to ease the slight pang of jealousy and pain.

“You okay?” Nifa asked, noticing the glint of uneasiness in your eyes, but you quickly shook the feelings away.

To make it believable, you forced a smile on your lips and answered your friend, “Of course!”

You hated how his certain squad mate looked at him the way you do, too. You are too aware of the woman’s feelings towards your lover, and you can’t help but to feel upset. How her small actions that meant something else find their way towards Levi, and how he does nothing about it, how he lets it happen, as if he’s giving her a chance.

Trust is one of the core foundations of your relationship, but you weren’t doubting your boyfriend, you are just… _jealous_. The two of you talked about how you should be open and tell each other everything you feel without any kind of hesitation. It was what made you strong as a couple- the thick line of communication never grew weary.

—–

Preparations weren’t that tedious an hour before the expedition because everything is already put together, thanks to Erwin. Everyone’s already in their uniforms, ODM gears have been checked, so no one is really having a hectic time, or so you thought.

The four corners of Levi’s office sealed every kind of noise from the outside, encaging you both with silence that is sometimes interrupted by the sound of papers shuffling. The captain sat on his chair, facing his desk, while he scanned a pile of paperworks to sign to. _Thanks to Erwin._

You sat on the chair in front of his desk, sighing and arranging the scattered papers neatly.

“Levi…” You started, trying to gain his attention but to no avail, he did not even raise his head to look at you, but he did acknowledge you.

“Hm?”

Thoughts pervaded your mind, doubts about yourself and the matter that you would bring up to your lover. For once, you became hesitant of the things that you would tell him, but the way your jealousy permeated through the deepest part of your heart offered you no chance to analyze if this was the perfect timing, or not.

“Petra Ral…” His eyes focused on you since the mention of his certain squad mate, making you grow slightly more jealous of the girl, “Her actions… her actions towards you make me uncomfortable,” You looked at him and tried to read if any kind of emotion slipped through his steel grey eyes, but you found nothing but nonchalance.

“I’m jealous, Levi. I just want to tell you that.” You admitted, looking down and pressing your nails on your fingers. Agitation rushed through every vein of yours, you were nervous and you didn’t know why. Maybe for how her would react or what he would say.

He stopped what he’s doing and sat up straight, staring directly into your anxious eyes, “What do you want me to do?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, tell her to stop? Tell her about us? About me?” You suggested, and your heart almost stopped when you caught the slightest glint of irritation in his eyes.

“I thought we’d keep it low-profile?” He asked, looking at the papers one more time before arranging it neatly and staring at you again, “We talked about this, (Y/N).” His austere voice sent shivers to every part of your body.

“This isn’t about us,” You muttered, looking down and avoiding his cold stares, “It’s about me, my feelings, Levi.”

A scoff flee from his mouth, making you feel like what you just said was so dumb that he could not stand it.

“You’re being unreasonable,” He spat your name like it was poison out of his lips, and you stared at him in shock. For a moment, words would not come out of your mouth. For a moment, you were frozen and you couldn’t believe what you just heard. For a moment, _you were hurt_.

You bit your lower lip, eyes furrowed as you stared back at him with the same intensity. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were supposed to tell each other things.” Sarcasm coated your voice like sugar on spice.

His fingers flew on his face, massaging his forehead, as if it was too bothersome and stressful to talk with you, “Stop being childish, (Y/N).”

“Then stop being insensitive!” You spat back, raising your voice. Your heart never beat this hard because of a different reason. The way pain and disappointment embraced you right now felt so wrong.

A sigh left his lips, as he pointed towards the door of his office. And you felt yourself drop, never have you ever had an argument so bad that he would resort to kicking you out, or parting ways without talking about it.

“I can’t deal with you right now… just leave.”

Tears pooled in your eyes like a puddle being filled by the chilly raindrops of a hail. He made you feel so petty. Your feelings were never invalidated, and you never thought that it would be him to make you feel like this.

—–

You gripped the end of the reins tightly as you waited for the commander’s signal to advance. Hanji questioned your puffy eyes the moment they saw you earlier, and you lied by saying that you accidentally fell asleep while waiting.

What irked you the most is the noise caused by the Elite squad and how they tease their woman to the captain. You wanted to combust so bad because you had no choice but to endure hearing them. Childish? _Fine._

As Erwin shouted, you wasted no time waiting and you immediately followed Moblit, with Nifa behind you and your other squad members at the back. You rode your horse like there was no tomorrow, occasionally being told to slow down to not ruin the formation.

Once the _big-ass_ trees greeted your sight, you shifted to your ODM gear and slaughtered every titan that came across your vision. How you are extremely offensive right now surprised your squad mates, because you were never like this before. It was as if you were angry, and hell you are.

You let your body get taken away by the emotions that overwhelmed your system, that you didn’t notice how far you got and how long you were fighting. But you did not seem to care, you were going to fight until Erwin decides to retreat. The good thing is, you knew how to conserve gas, Levi taught you himself.

Like a thunderbolt, a titan rushed towards you, jumping through the branches of trees, and catching you off guard, making a sharp piece of the wood graze the side of your cheek slightly. You hissed at the sting yet resumed slaying the titan.

Time passed by and you lost count of how many titans you have killed, the second to the last blade in your hand is now starting to get weary, and you badly wanted to kill the one in front of you. You advanced in full speed and positioned your blade in a way that it’d execute the titan in one slash, but an arm stopped you before you could cut.

“Stop it.”

Your body shook, not because you were tired, nor exhaustion is starting to creep up your body. But it was because you heard your lover’s voice. And you did not know why, or for what reason could your body react like this.

“It’s time to head back.” He whispered on your ear. His voice was nothing compared to his cold ones earlier, because this one… it’s _warmer_ than the sunset.

You bit your lip, letting your emotions take over you once again and yanking your arm away from him just to get back to the formation all by yourself. Your squad mates nodded at you the moment they recognized your form, and you were greeted by the sight of several bodies of people who suffered the fate of being taken too early.

The entire way back to the walls was coaxed with the heat provided with the orange sunset. Gone was the coldness that bothered everyone in the morning, it was engulfed by the warmth that reminded you of how every expedition ends like. The only warmth that reminded you of losing someone important.

—–

On an open field is where you sat, where they had experiments with the boy- the titan shifter. Of course, you knew, _you were there_. In front of you was the sunset that would soon say goodbye and leave its remnants of purple and deep pink. And the scent of your favorite soap sent comfort in knowing that you are already home, freshly showered, with a piece of snack in your hand.

You felt your lover’s presence slowly approaching you, his heat was greater than anything else. But visions of what happened earlier repeated in your mind, causing you to walk away from him, away from the feelings.

“(Y/N).”

One word from him, and you halted. And you hated it.

Not a minute had passed and you found Levi in front of you, his brown jacket now discarded, and what protected him from the cold solstice was a thin long-sleeves that you used to steal from him. His hand caressed the wound on your cheek, lightly letting his fingers kiss the fresh cut, but your eyes continued to avoid his.

Because of the schedule and trainings, you were deprived of the chance to spend time together. And you would not deny that you miss it. How you would sneak into his office late at night and come back to you and your roommates’ room before dawn. How you would steal food from the mess hall and share it with him. Or the late-night walks that you have done with him, pretending that no one would see. And you were sure that someone did.

You were never a secret, but you were extremely private.

“Look at me.” He said, his hands still cupping both of your cheeks. You pouted, not wanting to look at him because you knew how frail you get when it comes to him.

Your eyes met his, and it felt like you haven’t for a while.

“Look at me,” He repeated, and you stare directly into his, letting him read the emotions you have felt earlier. You looked at him as if you were complaining to him about himself and his actions earlier. “I’m sorry.”

Your lips trembled. Cheeks flushed and puffed, lips pouting, while warm tears filled your eyes once again. And Levi kissed your tears away even before they could paint your pretty face.

“Don’t cry,” He whispers, gone was the harsh tone that he used on you earlier, gone was the Levi that made you feel invalidated and puerile, “Fuck! Don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby.”

Sultry kisses on your forehead, and how his voice burned in apologies saved you from the cold breeze that wanted to touch your skin. He held you so close to him that you could feel how fast his heart beats for you, muttering how sorry he is, how he told not just Petra but his whole squad about you, how much of an asshole he was.

“D-don’t do that again…” You sobbed, face still buried in the warmth of his chest while your hands gripped his shirt.

“I promise.” He responds immediately, wiping the sadness and pain you have felt for hours and replacing it with the fire that dwells within him; _the fire that you both made._

You were beneath the moon, and tonight, it was more beautiful. It was your witness, along with the stars that smoldered like a fiery heat. And within the coolness of the dusk had you both realized, that the once searing sunset has kissed you both _goodbye._


	15. Pillow [Drabble]

[Drabble]: You were a mess when your roommate, Levi, moved out from your shared apartment.

**GENRE:** Modern AU, fluff.

 **WARNINGS:** None.

* * *

“Levi… Please!” You begged him over the phone. You swore to God, your new roommate will be the death of you! You now regret when you (kinda) loathed Levi because of his cleaning habits.

Although, deep inside, you know that you really miss your roommate turned best friend for the past five years. And he has this pillow that you’ve always loved. Levi smelled nice in general, but the pillow… It’s his scent mixed with something else. He gets annoyed whenever you hug it, because you spread your “germs” on it.

“Okay. Move in with me.”


	16. Nesquik [Double drabble]

[Double drabble]: Levi went out to go grocery shopping, and you were left home alone.

**Pairing:** Levi Ackerman x Reader

 **Tags:** Modern AU, fluff, cursing.

* * *

If the remote control could talk, you swear it’d curse you like a mad sailor right now. You sighed as you scroll through Netflix, seeing shows that you’ve either already watched or you haven’t, but you just didn’t want to.

Levi left thirty minutes ago to do grocery shopping. He insisted you should stay home because the expenses would inflate. And now you are here, bored, alone, and jealous. Grocery shopping is one of your favorite “chores” to do, how dare he!

You looked around the cupboard of your mini kitchen, and you saw your favorite chocolate Nesquik sitting at the very top. Its packaging lulled you and you chose not to use a chair to get it. _How did it even get there anyway?_

Being the clumsy human being you are, your foot slipped on the marble counter, causing you to fall on the floor. Thank God it wasn’t that high. You texted Levi.

**You:**

> I fell.

_Welp, he got home in less than five minutes._

“You’re so fucking dumb.” He sighs, ruffling your hair after checking on your broken ankle and the bump on your forehead.

You grinned at him, “Yeah, you love me.”

“I’m dumber than you.”


	17. Apocalypse [Drabble]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Apocalypse by Cigarettes after Sex

[Drabble]: A relaxing moment accompanied by your favorite song.

**Pairing:** Levi Ackerman x Reader

 **Tags:** Fluff, cigarettes after sex.

* * *

“You make me weak.”

Lavender scented bubbles caressed your skin before gently disappearing after being touched by the soft wind. Candles casted light upon the dark room filled with soothing aura and warm glow.

Lips colliding like violent supernovas, tongues clashing, silent whimpers and soft moans echoed through the room, along yours and Levi’s favorite music. The hot makeout session making your eyes droopy, high, filling hearts with euphoria.

In the middle of the white, ivory tub full of love, passion and sparkles, sat you and your boyfriend. Naked, yet covered within each other’s embrace.

_Your lips my lips, apocalypse._


	18. Misadventures [Drabble]

[Drabble]: What’s worse than a severed bond?

**Genre:** Angst.

 **Warning:** Swearing.

* * *

“Was she great?”

Your voice sounded like a turmoil in Levi’s ears. His lips twitched in annoyance, fists clenched immensely as he sighed, pushing you aside to make room for him along the doorway. Gone was the affection you grew fond of. _He’s gone cold._

“D-did you love it better when you fucked?” You interrogated.

A ton of questions generated chaos in your mind as emotions betrayed you. Salty, warm tears immediately fell from your eyes as pain engulfed your system. He _promised_. He vowed not to hurt you.

_Since when did you fall apart?_

“More than I should.”


	19. Smitten [Drabble]

[Drabble]: You are madly in love.

**Genre:** Fluff.

 **Warnings:** Smutty themes

* * *

_Can you feel how my heart beats?_

Insatiable hands caressed your face, while you and him hum against the searing touch of pleasure and lust.

Levi sends serenity down your being whenever his lips part to say your name, and with just his voice, you knew that you have always recognized the man.

“God, you feel so good…” You whimpered in pleasure.

You keep running onto him. Because his fragments are your serenade. And a part of you will always recognize his being as a cue that you are home.

_My heart beats for every piece that makes up **you**._


	20. Strange

**After a horrible day, you longed to be within the arms of your lover.**

**Genre:** College AU, light angst, fluff (comfort)

**Warnings:** Swearing

* * *

Last week has been hell, but today, everything felt excruciating. Your professor was being a shitty little bitch, your group mate spilled coffee all over your reports, your other group mate corrupted an important file, you’ve been blasted with an unbelievable amount of workload once again, the bus was full so you had no choice but to stand up and endure hell in your shoes, the loud and overwhelming car horns triggered your migraine, and you haven’t eaten since lunch. What could go wrong today?

Relief slowly crawled through your veins as you reach the door of your apartment, fingers finding their way in the small compartment of your bag, fiddling every corner, aching to feel the cold metal against your touch. But it wasn’t there.

_Fuck this shit._

The cold, hard wall collided with your back as you frustratedly fished your phone from your bag. Today is shit. _Awful shit._ And this right here was the trigger to the ticking time bomb you’ve been trying to detonate, but here you are, so close to breaking down and ugly crying.

It was hard. Being in the University was overwhelming, it was your choice to go, of course you have your dreams. The goal of claiming your major encourage you to go beyond your own limitations and try something new. Your boyfriend lifted your spirits up, and that is why you have made it this far. But it was _too much_ today, and probably worse tomorrow. And you needed a break.

Stress and agitation pushed you to succumb into your emotions and combust, yet you chose to keep it in.

“Please, pick up,” You pray that Levi would still be awake and that he would answer his phone. Pick up, pick up, pick u—

“Hm?” You finally heard his voice. It felt like water after a long, tiring run. His cold voice washed away every fiber of pressure and tension that tortured your mind and body with stress. He eased the anxiety that bullied you all day and replaced it with longing, and that had you.

“L-Levi. . .” You sobbed, he is all that you want right now. His embrace, arms, and comfort are what you’re yearning for. And he is always more than willing to provide you that.

Worry and concern blended with the voice that you grew fond of. “What’s wrong, (Y/N)? You okay?”

“I-” You sniffled, wiping your face with the handkerchief that he gave you, on the bottom of it was your name engraved, in his own penmanship. The stress, along with the frustrations had you frozen like ice. You couldn’t talk, and you wanted your boyfriend so bad.

“It’s alright,” He said, you sensed hurry and somehow heard the sound of movement from the line, he didn’t hang up. “I’m coming over, baby.”

Congestion bereaved you of the freedom to speak and breathe properly, and Levi knew that your nose easily gets congested whenever you cry. You aren’t even breathing through your nose anymore, and the migraine made everything much worse, you feel so pathetic.

The misadventures you have experienced that day pounded onto you like a war-hammer, unforgiving and merciless. You are well aware of how some days could be heavier than the usual, but you didn’t know that it would be this bad, and you just want to fade away. This horrible day is an alliance of every single disaster that could have happened the past weeks, but chose to occur today.

You did not notice that Levi had already arrived. His heart ached when he sees you breaking down next to your apartment door, and he immediately understood that you lost your key. His place weren’t that faraway from yours, but far enough for the both of you to miss each other whenever you part.

“Shh. . . I’m here, (Y/N),” His embrace made your tears more uncontrollable, something about his presence triggered a button in you, and you can’t stop crying, your emotions got you, and it often leaves you clueless— how this man could hold you tight and free you from any kind of anomaly you are facing. “Let’s get you inside, yeah?” He says, placing a warm kiss on the top of your head.

Your familiar scent greeted your lover’s nose the moment you’ve entered your room while gently removing both of your shoes. He taught you everything you should know when it comes to being clean, and he wanted you to be clean before coming to bed. Just so you could maximize the feeling of comfort, in his own preference.

“I’ll prepare a warm bath for you,” he says, placing a kiss on your forehead once again, wiping the tears that have escaped your eyes, and wiping it on his shirt.

Limping towards the dining table, you gently took your foot socks off. Revealing your crying, red toes, wincing slightly when the most sensitive part collided with the cold, hard floor.

_It’s just a bad day, (Y/N)._

Levi walked out of your bathroom door, his hoodie already gone, few droplets of water tainted his gray shirt. Upon seeing your distressed state, his heart felt discomfort seeing how puffy and swollen your eyes are. He does not have an idea how bad your day went, but he could feel the stress radiating from your being. _His poor baby._

His calloused, warm hand held yours tight as he guided you to your bathroom, the mist caused by the warm steam emitted the scent of your body wash.

“You okay?” He asked, caressing your shoulders gently. Adrenaline had pushed you too much, your struggles smothered you into piles of emotional distress, and you haven’t even noticed how sore your body was.

With a grimace, you nodded. The ache of today will never be forgotten by your heart, body, and mind. It was probably the most stressful out of all, or probably not. Perhaps, it’s the day when you finally admit and concede to the heavy load you have been carrying for months. And it is okay.

_You are okay._

“I got you,” Levi’s warm lips pressed against your forehead, his touch was gentle, delicate as if you were a frail porcelain teacup. “I got you, baby.”

Your body held on to his. Your lover sends serenity down the universe whenever his lips part to speak, he was too good to you, sometimes you doubt if you deserve him. A love like his is impossible to find within someone else, and for him, meeting a person like you is a once in a lifetime chance. And he is glad that he took his chance with you.

Strange was the word to describe your relationship. How bizarre it is to hold each other’s hands in a cruel world of love and war and indulge within the flames of one another without the fear of burning.

“Take this off, baby, you want me to help you?” He whispered, softly tugging onto your shirt. You nodded, cringing at the sudden pang of pain when you lifted your arms up. Levi’s hands found their way to the hem of your top, his fingers trailing your exposed skin and sending fireworks against every inch of you, guiding you while being extremely careful. _**“Take it off, slowly.”**_

Spasms of ecstasy massaged your muscles as you sat in the tub, your neck and everything underneath completely submerged inside the warm water along your favorite bath bomb. Your boyfriend knows you too well.

“Want to talk about it?” Levi asks, sitting behind you as he positioned the shower at the back of your head, softly rinsing your hair. The temperature’s perfect. Warm enough to make you sigh, and his fingers are gentle enough to make you forget about how hard the day was.

“I-I have to re-do a report and submit it tomorrow noon.” You sighed. Feeling the hot tears form once again as you remember the hard work and effort you have exerted into the project, only for it to get wiped away.

His fingers massaged your scalp, gently rubbing and running his fingers through the right spot, making your eyes flutter.

“Then I’ll help you,” He stated, rinsing your hair once again, careful not to cause the shampoo get into your eye. You already had a bad day, the least thing that he ever wanted was to inflict more stress.

Relief washed through your system when you heard what he had just said, but it might bother him. Or worse, he might have to skip a class just so he could help you with the task.

“No,” You rejected, “I-I can cram after this.” Self-doubt filled you to the brim, you knew you couldn’t. Your body, your mind, your entire system is wrecked.

“Shut up, we’re done with finals. I will help you tomorrow morning.”

Your lips formed a pout. The finality and seriousness in his voice confirmed that there is no way he is going to let you do requirements tonight. Without any kind of warning, Levi’s face was suddenly millimeters close to yours. His hot breath against your lips, the tip of his nose touching yours.

A gentle, hot kiss devoured the worries that lived in you. You submitted to the warmth of his kisses as he swallowed your soft moans, a whine escaped your lips as he pulled away, resting his forehead onto yours.

“You forgot to take care of yourself.” He said, kissing you again and swiftly draining the tub, letting the water go down as his free hand fished for your towel. A string of saliva connected your lips as he pulled away once again. “Next time, you tell me, m’kay?” He whispered, planting kisses on every inch of your face.

“I will.”

The softness of your towel enveloped your body, Levi dried you gently, so you would not get cold. Your puffy eyes and the darkness that occurred underneath them exposed how sleep-deprived you were.

“Good girl.”

With your soft gaze, parted lips, and with the eyelashes that framed the window to your soul like euphoria in gloomy skies, your lover’s heart ached for you, for how you have dedicated yourself so well for your passion. And with this, had he known, you are a fighter, _you are his fighter._

“Kiss me again,” You pleaded with a hoarse voice, one hand gripped the towel that protected you from the cold, the other caressing your boyfriend’s cheek.

Sweet lips collided for a while, he had you longing for him the moment he had pulled away. “Again,” You whined, bringing yourself closer to him, and he gladly pecked your upper lip once again, the brief feeling of his skin on yours brought you to a glimpse of summer.

“Again.”

The corner of his lip rose up because of your tactics, the amusement that glinted in his steel grey eyes failed to escape your sight. And being the whipped man he is, he would never not spoil you.

“Again.”

“Stop that.”

You giggled, stealing one last kiss before getting out of the tub and following him to your bedroom. As you stared at him, you could not help but to wonder what you did to deserve this man and little did you know how much he had thought about the magic of having you, too.

_What would I do without you?_

Strange it is. How only one man could tame the turmoil that had you intoxicated for weeks, how Levi could love you more in days that you have hated yourself. Strange was the way he taught you to make love to your own imperfections, exactly the way you did with him. How you have grown afraid of living in the cruel reality, but never if it meant _growing old with him._

Isn’t it strange?


	21. Le Quattro Stagioni

**Genre & Warnings:** Modern AU, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of alcohol

**Songs** **:**

  * **Two is Better than One** by Boys Like Girls
  * **Back to December** by Jake Coco
  * **You and Me** by Lifehouse



* * *

The tepidity of June danced along the slightly cool breeze that blew a few strands of your hair away from your face. Numerous messages from Hanji made your phone go almost crazy and overwhelmed by the bombardment of notifications. Several questions about what would you wear, what time will you go, or should they pick you up.

A sigh escaped your lips upon opening your apartment door, the cold feeling of being alone grazed your cheek, sending shivers down your spine even though it was summer. Walking to your room, you grabbed the makeup pouch on top of the dining table along the way, replying to your friend’s messages.

Tonight is a special one. After five long years, a highschool reunion is initiated and organized by a few of your batchmates, and the venue is at a small garden event place—where everyone experienced their first prom when in third year. Your lips formed a smile upon the memories brought by the sudden reminisce, it was your first everything.

\-----

Highschool is a period where people often experience every kind of shit an individual has to go through to enjoy their teenage years. We get drunk, we smoke—well not everyone, but a majority has tried taking one drag and regretting it afterwards, we lie to our parents, we cut classes. It doesn’t always happen to everyone, and not every single person can relate, but the point is, highschool brought us to situations we never knew we could get through. It introduced us to unfamiliar feelings, it gave us the chance to quench the curiosity that formed within the depths of our minds.

It doesn’t always happen to everyone in high school, but in your case, _you fell in love._

Being friends with Hanji allowed you to become one with their own circle, too. The ever so responsible Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit—Hanji’s best friend, and you didn’t know if they noticed but there’s something else in the man’s eyes whenever he stares at Hanji, and of course, Levi. . . Every single one of them had their own idiosyncrasies, and it wasn’t hard to get along with them, especially with the man with the jet-black hair and slanted eyes.

As a transferee from another school, you chose to go along their group, because being with them makes you feel at ease. They weren’t intimidating at all, Levi was, at first, but their warmth and how they welcomed you in their circle will never be forgotten by your heart.

Everyone has their own “partner in crime”, except for Erwin who could ace high school on his own, but he did help anyone who needed a hand, and because of his duties as a class president, he doesn’t always have the chance to mingle with you guys. And so every time you had afterschool shenanigans, Mike and Nanaba would have their own little world, Hanji would be blabbering their rants to Moblit, sometimes Erwin too, if he’s not too busy with his responsibilities, and you are often left with Levi. It’s not that you hated it—you never hated it.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, one day. It was three months after being friends with you when he first held your hand, just because an over-speeding car almost hit you while you were walking your way towards our house. His hand felt nice on yours, and the concern that dwelled in his eyes was enough to make your frail heart dance with the crispy, orange leaves.

It was in the final term of first year when the attraction towards him grew into a little crush and little did you know how he became more fond of you than he did with the others, too.

“Do you want me to get you soup?” The busy cafeteria was filled with hungry students, lunch time only allows you to have your break within an hour. Yes, _fuck school_ , but thank God the canteen wasn’t so far away.

“Yep,” You answered, while waiting outside of the line as you waited for Levi to finish ordering your food while you held his bag, and the utensils.

“Go find us a chair, I’ll come to you.” His bored eyes darted onto yours, nodding his head, insisting that you should go and sit. Hanji and the others found you soon after being separated for a while, they sat anywhere but the seat in front of you. Because, it’s Levi’s spot if it is across yours, and nobody can change that.

The unexpected bond of you and him had grew into a light sense of puppy love, and you really didn’t have a clue about what you were feeling, but it did feel right, _he felt right_.

“Do you like Levi?” Nanaba interrogated you one time when she and Hanji had a sleepover at your house, and a sleepover isn’t one if you would not talk about crushes and such. Apparently, something is really going on in between her and Mike, and she talked about how it all began in middle school. Hanji, apparently, is too caught up with fictional creatures like Titans, and they spoke about not having time for crushes.

“Yeah, do you like him? Because he liiiikes you,” They teased and you brushed it off, avoiding the question by changing the topic immediately.

“Don’t be silly.” You laughed.

_Of course, of course you did._

_**He is every snowflake of your winters.** _

It was the autumn of sophomore, when you first went into Levi’s house, along with your friends, of course. You met his lovely mom who welcomed you warmly and cooked the nicest food you’ve ever tasted outside of your house, and then you met his uncle who acts as if he’s always drunk and calls Levi a little runt.

“Tch,” Kuchel showed you his baby pictures, and you stared at his annoyed face, picturing if he had not cut his long, dark hair. Maybe he could tie it into a manbun? “Mom, stop that.” You laughed, amused how he managed to snatch the album away from the grip of his mother as he ran towards his room while everyone giggled because of his reaction.

“That brat was never the friendly type, we’re glad you were able to adopt him to your group,” Kenny snorted. Behind his harsh words were a sense of gratitude, you knew that Levi’s uncle may appear as harsh at first, but he was kind, and you were pretty sure where Levi got his attitude from.

Kuchel patted the top of your heads before sending you off that day, thanking you for how well you treated Levi, “You take care of my son, okay?” She said, and it might have appeared as usual to others, but not to you. You’d never forget how she looked into your eyes the moment she spoke, as if she was pertaining to you.

What you thought was puppy love had bloomed into something deeper, something _stronger_ , more serious, and _bigger_ than the both of you.

\-----

It was the spring of junior year when you first made out. His room was dimly lit, the curtains were closed, his bed was soft, his tongue on yours—and how you wrapped your arms around his neck just to pull him closer to your body.

The seasons flew by quickly, you knew how well your heart and mind begs for him, and he is well aware about how a single touch of you could make him falter. You weren’t dumb, and it wasn’t that hard to figure it out, what was hard was _to admit._

“What do you feel about me?” You asked, staring into his eyes and getting lost within the ardor the dwells upon his irises whenever he looks at you. “Do you love me, Levi?”

You would never forget how his ears turned red at that moment, placing soft kisses on your face while holding you in his arms, never ready to let go. “Tch, what do you think?”

“I think you do, too.” You smiled, pressing your lips against his and closing your eyes, feeling his warm breath on your face, his long eye lashes against your skin, and the scent you’ve grown fond of for years.

His eyes trailed to the necklace he gave you at prom, tracing the cold silver chain that rested upon the smoothness of your neck, “Then why’d you ask?”

And he would never forget how your eyes gleamed when he told you that, as if every star in the universe exploded and the smithereens fell onto your face. “I’m right, then?”

“Mhm.”

“I just want to hear you say it,” You pouted, kissing on his forehead and studying the cosmos in his eyes. You have always wondered how his eyes looked so pretty whenever you stare at them, never had you noticed how it only dazzles that way just because he is looking at you.

_“I am in love with you.”_

And it’s just a matter of time when the both of you realized that “you and me” was meant to be an “us.”

Everyone knew about your relationship when you were in high school, you were a power couple, lowkey but sweet. You never fail to capture almost everyone’s attention whenever you do the slightest things, hold each other’s bags, when you give him your food, when you share food, when you share a smile, most especially when you took every breath away at your first dance in prom. The relationship was private, but it shook everyone’s world. You kept things to the both of you, leaving people extremely curious about it.

The graduation was emotional, almost everyone was crying while they hugged their friends. And tears were flowing from your face, too, while Hanji and the others enveloped you into a group hug.

“I’m going to miss you all, oh my God.” They cried.

“There, there, it’s okay.” Erwin shushed them, earning a glare from your brunette friend.

“Shut up! You’re lucky you’d be going to the same university as Levi and Mike!”

You shook your head at them, spotting your boyfriend and walking towards where he is. A small smile formed on his lips upon seeing you approaching.

“Hey,” You smiled, kissing his cheek. Good thing, the lipstick you’ve used is waterproof.

“We made it, huh?” He kissed your forehead, and seldom are the times that he is willing to be affectionate in public. You closed your eyes for a while and caressed his cheek gently.

“We did,” You grinned, reaching out to his palm and intertwining your fingers together. “Hold my hand?”

He let out a light chuckle, and you swore, you fell in love a bit more. “Always.”

_**While you are the flowers of his spring.** _

Just like how high school was, college flew by quickly. After years of being emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, you couldn’t believe how you managed to reach the last year of suffering. You wouldn’t lie, but the pressure is and the amount of knowledge you’ve compressed into your brain made you doubt yourself. The path towards reality was extremely horrifying, and you felt like you couldn’t take it. You doubted your own capabilities to the point wherein you almost didn’t believe in yourself anymore.

It was the winter of senior year when Levi asked you one question that almost made your heart stop.

The snow fell from the empyrean that day, the heater felt useless because of the extreme cold that crept upon the spaces of your apartment. Your boyfriend was there while you burned your eyebrows trying to work on your final requirement.

You wouldn’t lie if you would say that the stress that had been introduced to the both of you didn’t put a space between him and you. Numerous quarrels have made you stronger, but this. . . it was as if you’re aware that you are drifting apart, and you weren’t doing anything about it, and _fuck_ how it scared you. You wouldn’t lie if you were to say that the love wasn’t as warm as it used to, it wasn’t as fluttery as before, and you understood that it could be because of college. But the thought of letting go of the man that you love just because you are so damn scared of opening up teared your heart to pieces, and so you made your mind.

“C-can we talk?” You asked, approaching Levi who sat on your couch while scrolling through his phone. He nodded, standing up and following you to the dining table where all of your papers and laptop sat, while you shivered underneath the sweater that you stole from him.

“I have to tell you something,” Your hands gripped the hem of the sweater tight, while your boyfriend lean against the backrest of the chair.

“Yeah, me too.” The coldness of his voice added to the ice that formed because of the freezing weather. Was he this cold or were you not used to anymore?

“I-”

“Marry me.”

The ice struck your core like a billow enraged with fury and no mercy. You couldn’t speak nor react as your stared at him while time remained suspended in the frost. Your mind could not process his question, and confusion glazed your eyes while your heart pounded like crazy. The grip of your hand against the hem of the sweater weakened while you couldn’t believe what you just heard.

You thought he’s calling it off. You thought he was going to break up with you, you fucking thought you were done. But you are so taken aback that you can’t even talk. You sat frozen until seconds turned into minutes. You were sandwiched in the conundrum of stress, pressure, anxiety, and doubt.

“I see,” The words that left his mouth struck you in a different way as you watched his body walk out of your apartment. You wanted to scream, to punch yourself, to hurt yourself for not being able to function. You are trembling, but not because of the cold. A part of your soul shivered upon trying to understand what just happened.

“O-oh, my God.” You whispered, rushing outside without even bothering to put on more clothing. Winter’s kiss felt like a ghost on your skin as you sat in the middle of your snow-coated staircase, seeing how he had already gone.

Trepidation slowly crushed your heart as hot tears trickled from your eyes, down your face. Realization crept in the depths of your system as you understood that what caused you to be terrified never involved anything about the future, you’re not crying because he left, because whenever he does, he always comes back to you. What scared you the most, was how he felt before leaving. It felt like goodbye.

\-----

The summer dress fitted your body perfectly, putting on a small smile while staring at yourself in the mirror. After some time, you finally finished getting ready. Pink stained your juicy lips, and you topped it off with a gloss. A spritz of perfume, earrings, mascara, everything felt like complete but deep inside, you knew that something was missing.

Your eyes darted on your neck, that is why, feeling nothing around your neck was weird, because you were so used to wearing the necklace that he gave you back when you were in high school. Sighing, you found yourself opening one of your drawers and taking out the necklace once again, you never threw it away, how could you? You just stopped wearing it. Cold and pretty, it sat on your skin. It never looked weary despite how old it was, because you took good care of it. You took good care of the presents Levi gave you.

Memories of how you broke down and how Hanji and Nanaba hugged you so tight while you sat in the middle of Levi’s empty apartment tore a piece of your heart once again. How you begged Erwin and Mike to help you with finding Levi, but they were clueless, too. It hurt so much, he left without a word, cut everything off, he was gone in the wind, and never in your life had you been so confused, so hurt, desperate for answers, _desperate for chances._

Before thoughts of him could fill your mind, you forced yourself to think of something else. It has been six months since then, but you would be lying if you were to say that you don’t miss him. Because in reality, you fucking do.

A doorbell woke you out of your daze, “Coming!” You shouted, double-checking everything before heading out the door. Various thoughts filled your mind upon seeing the staircase that was once buried in deep, white, snow.

“Come in, girl!” Nanaba shouted from the backseat, and you smiled upon seeing their bright faces. In the front was Mike, and Moblit’s in the passenger seat, Hanji and Nanaba sat next to each other in the backseat, squishing you in a tight hug once you got in. You missed this so much, it has been so long. You never imagined that you could cherish a friendship like this, one that could last long. One that is worthwhile.

The gymnasium of your old school is filled with various decorations inspired by the summer. Flowers of different kinds greeted your vision, every decoration turned the same, old, and boring gym into a decent venue. You smiled at every familiar face you’ve encountered with, grinning awkwardly whenever they asked you about Levi, and your heart ache. You sought for answers, and they were never given to you.

“Where’s Erwin?” You were curious about the blonde man’s whereabouts, he’s probably busy with work. He immediately got into a company after graduating. You were in their graduation, and Levi wasn’t there. Thoughts of how you panicked that day filled your mind once again, how you cried to Erwin and Mike, telling them how you’ve ruined Levi’s life. But they were comforting, telling you how the man could have transferred when in the final semester in the last minute. Still, everything’s just a possibility, you didn’t know.

Hanji scrolled through their phone, “Probably late because he’s busy,” They answered, looking at you to check if you are okay. Their hand caressed the exposed skin of your shoulder, sending comforting warmth to fight against the cold of the night. “I’m sorry if everyone’s asking about. . .” They trailed off, and you smiled at them, assuring them that it is okay, even though it’s not. How the fuck will it be okay?

Nanaba hugged you from the side while you were sitting, you leaned your head against their shoulder, letting a few tears fall from your pretty eyes.

“I’m sorry, it’s just how they knew you. . .” She whispered, caressing your back, “You’re (Y/N) of Levi.” A bitter laugh escaped your mouth as you chewed on your bottom lip.

“Hey, don’t talk like that,” You giggled, forcing the tears to stop. Mike handed you a glass of water that he fetched from the mobile bar, and you thanked him, carefully drinking from the cup. “Thank you, for being with me.”

_“Always.”_

Everyone had fun with games and such, the food was great, you had to go back to the buffet table two times, not minding your diet for the night. It was in the middle of the program when Erwin came, nodding at the men and hugging you girls.

“What did I miss?”

“Everything, dude. Where the fuck did you came from? Narnia?”

The spotlight is suddenly on Erwin, shocking the man who is currently eating the food Moblit got for him while he was gone, the Microphone person, Oluo, decided to interrogate Erwin, being the class valedictorian of your batch. People laughed when he was forced to take one shot of pure tequila before making a short speech first. You weren’t sure if Erwin was one of those who organized the event, but he did told you that he was added into a groupchat by a person from another section—you think Nile was the name.

Erwin was indeed, super late when you realized that it is time to for the most fun part of every prom you had in high school—the party portion. The man ate first before he joined your group’s rowdy-ass partying, you had fun as if you were back in your teenage years, except, you had unlimited alcohol this time. You’re pretty sure that either Hanji or Mike would come home late because those two doesn’t know the word limit.

Amidst the part where everyone’s being wild, from disco music to cheesy ones that you actually danced to when you were. . .

A few couples filled the dancefloor, as others went to the mobile bar, ready to get drunk. It was one of your favorite love songs which played, as if it’s mocking you for not having your long-time partner. It’s mocking you for being single, fuck, you don’t even know if you are single of not.

Your boys formed a circle, they always do this every time a sweet song plays from the blasting speakers, mimicking a cotilion, but jumping to the part where everyone switches partners by forming a circle. You get partnered to Mike first, making funny faces to him like how you used to when you were young, and as he twirled you around, you found your self in the gentleman’s arms—Moblit, he told you how pretty you looked as he let you spin, passing you onto Erwin.

His eyes darted on the necklace on your neck, smiling upon the sight of the familiar jewelry, “You look beautiful tonight,” He told you, swaying you along the rhythm of the music. Your lips formed a slight smile, knowing that the reason of his stare is because of the necklace. “Don’t even think about teasing me, Erwin I swear I’ll punch-”

“Woah, easy there, I won’t do that to you.” He laughs at your glare, _this man is probably drunk_ , you thought. While the two never knew their limits, Erwin’s a fucking weakling when it comes to alcohol. He twirled you around with so much force that you ended up not being catched by Mike and so you closed your eyes and braced yourself for the impact, but you didn’t fall.

Warm hands caught your frail body, whoever it his wrapped their hands around you, and between the the searing touches of this _stranger_ , you felt yourself froze, feeling the familiarity of the unfamiliar touch. The clean, musk scent that had you enticed and whipped for years is recognized by your system.

_There’s something about you now. . ._

_His_ warm hands embraced you like he used to while you get lost within the music that you first danced to.

_I can’t quite figure out._

“I missed you.” He whispered, and you couldn’t open your eyes. You buried your faces within his chest, and how you also fucking missed it.

While various emotions filled your core, the tears that failed to escape your eyes before the party started, found their way back into your tear ducts. You didn’t know what to feel, how to feel, what to think, you are once again clueless while you let yourself drown within his touch.

_Everything she does is beautiful._

But one thing is for sure.

_Everything she does is right._

You are glad that he’s back.

_**He is the chill that makes you shiver when autumn comes by.** _

“F-fuck you. . .” You cried, sobbing onto his shirt and gripping onto the fabric. Levi’s hands caressed your back, pressing you closer, harder onto his chest. Fury crept upon every crevice of your heart, but you can’t let him go, you’re scared to let him go.

The love that you have for this man is so tremendous, that you can’t stand to hate him. Slowly, you felt yourself being pulled away from the crowd of dancing couples, distance made the music sound so soft, and the only sound that blasted you to bits was the sound of your heart beats with his.

“I hate you, I fucking hate you, how dare you—how fucking dare you!” Your fists came in contact with his hard chest, the feelings you have kept to yourself for six fucking months blasted like a waterfall. The force was too much, and you let yourself get carried out. Just this once.

His soft eyes never left your tipsy state, you were perfect. Still perfect.

Levi gladly took every punch you threw, every curse you spat, every slap you gave, because nothing could ever deny the fact that he deserved it. He was so fucking dumb, as Erwin and Mike told him.

_“Leaving after proposing? Are you a sick fuck? Who does that?”_

He received words from his friends after knowing what happened between the both of you. Curses, advices from Erwin, words from Hanji, the disapproval of Moblit, Mike’s punches, Nanaba’s disbelief.

“How d-dare you leave me! Y-you told me you won’t leave me. Fuck you, I-I love you. . .why did you leave me. . . Y-you know that I hate it when you leave me.” You sobbed, not knowing if you should continue hurting him or if you should go and hug him.

Levi’s lips pressed softly against your forehead, holding you tight, under the unforgiving solstice of the night.

“I almost failed my major. . .” He whispers, hugging the vulnerable you, while he buried half of his face onto the crook of your neck. And fuck, how he had missed this, how he fucking missed everything about you. “I never told you, because I know how anxious you were. . . I don’t want to become a burden.”

Your breathing was unsteady as you choked on words you could never say because of what he just said, your grip on his shirt tightened as you felt more tears streaming down your pretty face.

“I felt us drifting apart. . .and fuck, it scared me, (Y/N),” He paused, breathing deeply and running his fingers through your hair. “And when you asked if we could talk, I thought you wanted us done. So I asked you to marry me.”

His warm hands found their way to caress your tear-soaked face as he brought his face closer to yours, staring deeply into your eyes. “And I really wanted to marry you, baby. Fuck, I even had the shitty ring with me that time. . .” He gulped, biting his lip upon seeing the pain in your eyes. He could feel how fast your heart beats, he could feel the ache you’ve gone through for six months. “But I freaked out, And I really thought I. . . I already lost you.” He closed his eyes, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry because of him again.

“Erwin told me that I don’t deserve you, and I realized that really fucking don’t.” The cold wind kissed your skin, contrasting the heat that his body radiates. Steel grey eyes you have fell in love with years ago and until now darted on the silver necklace that sat pretty on your skin, and how it made his heart pound faster that it does. “But I am in love with you. . . The six fucking months, I’ve spent all of it trying to make myself a better man for you.”

His eyes, the gloss that reflected the beauty of the moon stared into yours once again. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the way his eyes look more pretty whenever you stare at him, because it has been a while since he last saw you.

“And whatever decision you are going to make, I will accept.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your tear-stained face once again. “I am in love with you.” A small smile formed on his lips, as if he was already assuming that you’d leave him, and you hated that smile, you hated everything.

_As if you fucking could._

“Marry me.” You muttered.

Gone was the fragility that dwelled upon your starry eyes, every doubt, every question, every ounce of fear that once settled deep inside your heart vanished along every meteor that crashed into the abyss of nothingness. Gone was the hate, gone was everything else except for the both of you.

‘Cause it’s you and me, and all of the people, and I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you.

He nodded at you, speechless upon your sudden question. And he knew that this is right, he is sure. He is sure of you.

“I’m sorry.” His kisses sent butterflies and made you grew flowers on every inch of your body as he carefully slipped a ring on your ring finger. “I will make it up to you.” His words are coated with finality, and your heavy-lidded eyes felt warm once again, his slender fingers wiped the corner of your eyes before the tears could stain your face once more.

“D-don’t you leave me again.” You choked, admiring the ring that he got you. It fitted perfectly on your finger, just like how your hand fits perfectly with his.

“I’ll stay with you, _always_.”

“I never stopped loving you, Levi.” Your soft voice was melody to his ears, as the summer night reminded you both of how everything started. How you first met, how you first held hands, how you slowly fell in love, how you first made love, how you both thanked the cosmos for leading you to each other’s arms.

“I’ll never not love you.”

_**And you will always be the warmth that completes his every summer.** _


	22. Lie to me

Despite being star-crossed lovers, you chose to spend the last day of the year together.

**Genre & Tags:** Modern AU, angst, swearing (not edited).

* * *

The last day of December’s kiss left you shivers as you took a walk along the chilly streets. The hand in yours contested upon the ice that started to make you cold because of the breeze, but unlike before, the scorching love wasn’t as searing as it used to be.

You left footprints against the white snow, leaving marks that would soon be gone, because. . . nothing lasts forever, right? That’s why you and he didn’t. Years felt like a glimpse. The thoughts of your long-term relationship sketched a small smile on your pretty lips, yet it caused another crack on your fragile heart.

Who changed? It was the first question you’ve asked when Levi admitted how he gradually fell out of love. How he told you how much he tried and fought to make it work. Who was to blame? Was it you? Was it you, for taking the slight hunches for granted and shaking it off just to escape from the reality of having to talk about the faltering relationship?

Who changed? _Me? Him? Us?_

“Yeah, one black tea and a hot chocolate.” He said to the cashier, paying for the drinks and handing you the beverage. You muttered a quiet thanks while his warm hand rested upon the small portion of your back.

“You’d walk me home?” You asked, your innocent eyes looking directly at his. Subtly yet desperately hoping to witness the small gleam that used to reflect upon his grey eyes, whenever he got the chance to look at you. His slight nod gave you the assurance.

It was the cold night of October when you first noticed how everything felt like it wasn’t the same as it used to be. It was a cozy evening when you started to have doubts about the warmth that seemed to weaken, the spark that did not shine so bright anymore, the colors that have faded.

You didn’t want him to admit, you didn’t want to hear anything from him. Because you are well aware that you couldn’t take it. You couldn’t lose him, anything but him. Anything but Levi.

_“If your love had gone away, don’t tell me right now.”_

“How ‘bout we take the path that passes by Trost?” You asked, once again. A small smile crept up Levi’s lips, a brief glimpse of his memories flashed on his mind. It was where you first met, where you had most of your firsts.

“Of course.”

Why was it so hard? The butterflies in your stomach have stopped dancing when you realized how his heart stopped dancing with yours for quite a while. Cloudy skies engulfed your once bright ones the moment he admitted how he had already tried enough, and that there’s no way that you both could save the relationship.

The cries of your broken heart broke him, too. Searing tears of regret and melancholy burned your flesh while he told you how sorry he was. That night made you begged the skies to make you feel numb, and you know that you lost. You knew it. You lost him.

“Hey,” A vapor flew out of your lips once you spoke, catching Levi’s attention.

“Hm?”

You’ve begged him to help you. That night, you pleaded for his help, you desperately sobbed on his shoulder and sought for him to leave you, little by little. And he killed the void that almost consumed your brightness, embracing your shaking form, and comforting the terrified soul that he had loved for years.

“Who said the first I love you?” You smiled, holding his hand tighter upon passing by one of your favorite restaurants. The dark hues of the dusk casted not enough light against your forms, the dullness granted you a chance to camouflage the emotion that reflected upon your face.

“It was you.” A small scoff escaped his cold lips, stopping the smile that wanted to paint his face because of your silliness.

“No,” Your right hand found its way onto his side, pinching him lightly. “It was you! You told me when you were drunk.”

He eyed you as if you were absurd, amusement coated the once nonchalant irises of his. “Shut up, I don’t get drunk.”

Your relationship’s yesterdays were nowhere near perfect, but it did make you enthralled. Amazement and bliss enveloped you both while you danced in the middle of a ballroom full of strangers. It was nowhere near perfect, but you were in love.

_You are still in love._

Above you both were the fleeting heavenly bodies, ready to say goodbye to the year, ready to be a canvas to the fireworks that would soon paint the skies. Memories your past new years together flooded your mind and awakened the weakened flame of your heart. Your grip on his calloused hand became tighter as you saw the ferris wheel of your amusement park.

Tears that felt like comets fell like meteors from your starry eyes. The pain was never about being left after years of holding each other’s hand. But you were about to be completely lost. It was the feeling of nothingness, it was the fear of facing the world on your own without the person you’ve grown fond of for years. It was never about how long you’ve been together, it was about how deep the love was. It was about what flourished between him and you.

And what hurts the most is that you thought it’s going to last for a lifetime.

But it didn’t. And how you wish it did.

“You really have to improve your shit sleep schedule.” You squeezed his hand. Some people are starting to go outside and light their sparklers, there are some who are already making noises, and you are neither. You are outside, but the screams of your heart is louder than any kind of firecracker.

“And you have to improve yours, too. You adapted mine, brat.” He scoffed, and you laughed because it’s true. Through the years, you had always attempted to stay with him from dusk until down. And as a consequence, you ended up having the same fucked-up body clock. But you didn’t mind, you probably never will. “I won’t be there to force you to sleep, you know.” He said softly.

While walking above the thin layer of snow, leaving footmarks, you the gloss of tears coating your eyes once again. Your home would be walking away from you, and fuck. _Fuck_. How you wish he wouldn’t.

“You have to start eating healthy, too. No more junk foods, okay?” His voice is coaxed with the warmth the contrasted what kind of cold you are feeling. The same kind of heat you fell in love with, the same kind of ardor that melted every ice that formed within you. “I mean it, brat.”

“Fine.” You chewed on your bottom lip, trying to stop yourself from sobbing. Had it been a different scenario, then you would go and spat a sassy remark. But it’s different. And the only way to stop yourself from breaking down is to avoid talking, because heaven knows how close you are to breaking.

There’s no easy way, you are aware that breakups aren’t beautiful, but you didn’t know that it would be like this.

_Why did it have to end so soon?_

The familiar path towards your apartment greeted your sad eyes as you hold onto Levi’s hand tighter. Every moment spent flashed into your mind, recalling the butterflies, the tears, everything that reminds you of him.

“Oh, and you always have to lock your door now, m’kay?” You chuckled. Looking back at how you have depended so much onto him, that every time the two of you enter your apartment, you’d leave the locks to him.

You’ve grown too fond of him and now you don’t know where to start. Where do you let go? What would you let go of first? How could you let go?

“I guess. . .” You trailed off, fighting the tears from rolling down your snow-kissed face, trying not to succumb into the pain that you have tried to avoid for months. “T-this is it?” A quiet sob made you choke on your words, the staircase to your apartment had never looked so terrifying. Levi’s sudden embrace had you. He had you breaking down into little embers that soared high above the frost.

“Don’t cry,” He pressed a kiss on your temple, making you bury your face into him even more. “I hate seeing you cry, fuck.” He whispered your name as if it was precious. And indeed, it is.

“I love you. _Fuck, I am so in love with you_.” Your trembling fist softly collided with his hard chest, “How will I be okay with letting you go?”

Jet black hair covered his dark eyes, but you don’t have the courage to stare directly into him, anyway. He was so easy to love, so easy to hold, his warmth was everything. And perhaps, that everything was never meant to be yours.

“Tell me now,” You whispered. Allowing him to admit how he really felt, telling him to say what lies beneath the bottom of his heart, begging him to help you let go.

_“I don’t love you anymore.”_

“And I love you, you know.” Spasms of ache conquered the soft crevices of your heart, abysmal clouds seemed to engulf your rainbows, but you had no other choice.

The fireworks started to lighten up the dark sky, various colors painted the boring heavens with wonderful colors and sparkles of joy. Lights of different tinctures illuminated what seemed to be a void, as people watched in amazement while waiting for the new year to come.

“Take care of yourself.” Levi caressed your trembling form, cooing the terrified you, calming the awakened emotions _. “Thank you everything. . . for letting me go.”_

“Anything for you,” You nodded, the sad eyes that used to made love with his is now filled with pain and longing. He understood your signal, you wanted him to go now. Because if he had stayed longer, then you wouldn’t be able to.

“I love you, Levi.”

He walked away from you as you stared frozen, the truth still not sinking in. Your reality still lies beneath the love he had thought you, the love that you both took care of. The love that now only lives within the dying fire of your soul.

The loud cheering outside has been a signal that a fresh start has now come. Now is your first day of starting again, your first day of trying to go on without him, your first day of grieving.

Cheers to the new year. Cheers to the happy hearts, to the joy that may never fade. Cheers to everyone. Cheers to the love that succeeded, to the hearts that sang in tune. Cheers to the love that didn’t make it.

_Cheers to us, my love._


	23. So Close

You are his Agape.

 **Genre & Warnings:** Modern AU; angst, light fluff.

 **Word count:** 1,130 words.

* * *

A lovely, sweet song played along the white noise that lingered around the hotel’s reception. People clad in their best formal outfits blended along the theme of tonight’s special party. _A Valentine’s day dance._ College became fun because of events like this, and you were so glad that you’re able to attend, you took it as a break from the chaos that keeps you up at night.

To your side is your boyfriend, wearing his formal attire yet styling his hair in a messy bun. His hand rested on your right thigh, radiating warmth against the exposed portion of your skin, letting you feel his love through a simple touch.

“Are those my hoop earrings?” You giggled, lightly pinching Eren’s arm through his tuxedo the moment you recognized the gold earring that rested against the skin of his ear.

His lips rose up, revealing the boyish smile that had you at first sight. “They look good on you,” He whispered against your lips, lightly letting your skin collide for a second of euphoria and pulling away. “I thought they might look good on me.”

“You’re pretty.”

“No, _you’re pretty_.”

The chair’s feet made friction against the cold floor, making a little sound as Eren stood up, fixing his top to flatten the tiny wrinkles out. But that little noise was nothing compared to the beat of your thumping heart.

“Dance with me, sweetheart.” His hand came closer to yours, waiting for the sweet touch of your palm against his.

 _You’ve never felt this beautiful_. Every gesture, every word, and every touch of his never fails to make you feel like you are the world’s prettiest girl. Even cupid agrees to the red line that connects you both. You are his pretty girl.

On the dance floor stood some of your friends, swaying their hearts out with the ballade that amplifies the day of love. Your heart danced with the butterflies that flew from your stomach when Eren’s arm glided against your clothed waist, holding onto you gentle enough for your comfort, and tight enough to show everyone that you are his. You felt so secure, so damn safe, so fucking happy in his arms.

“Happy Valentine’s day, baby.” He whispered against your ear, caressing the side of your face and pressing a short kiss against your forehead.

As Sasha had said, this man could be the one from your dreams. The one you’ve always wanted from the very first beat of your heart. He could be the firework to your world, the one who brought out the beauty you never taught you had. He could be every piece of flare who filled the dark spaces within every crevice of you. He could be everything. . . but who would you be?

Through every step, he never failed to captivate what’s already enticed, swaying you along the promising music, telling you how beautiful you are. You let your eyes wander around the warm-lit room full of love and melodies, from the grandeur ceiling, to every painting that decorated the beige walls, until your glistening eyes met grey ones that once was yours.

 _You’ve never felt this alone_. Music sounded like nothing while you stood frozen upon seeing him again, the man who could have made it with you. The one who could’ve been holding you right now had you both stayed.

For a second, nothing else existed as the anamnesis of you and him played through the depts of your mind and covered your heart with warm honey. What you had was beyond beautiful, it was more than captivating, and you cherished every second of it. You hope you had more.

With every breath, every step, and every beat, your eyes never left his, as he is to you. The Ackerman’s fist clenched upon seeing how close you were to the green-eyed boy, your body caged in the man’s arms as you swayed.

Levi was not perfect, _but he felt like home._

He taught you how dreams work, he showed you his darkest spaces, and you willingly planted your own flowers within his imperfections. You were almost perfect, like art. And heaven knows how you loved the art of making art with him.

And perhaps you were almost perfect, that even Lucifer mourned for what you have had.

“Are you okay, baby?” Eren asked, feeling the tension that built up from your muscles.

You nodded at him, smiling and burying your face on his chest. He should feel like home. Eren must be home now. He is where your heart is. But why doesn’t he cause havoc within your heart every time he is ardently near? Why doesn’t he feel like home?

From the other side of the busy dance floor, Levi stood, clad in his all black attire, and beside him was Erwin, one of his closest friends. The blonde man witnessed how the grey in his friend’s eyes became a different shade of grey while he watched the woman who was once his, dance with another man.

“I don’t get you both,” Erwin started, taking a sip from his glass of wine before continuing, “Why would you even let go?” He asked, curious upon the mutual decision you have had months ago.

A small smile painted the thin lips of Levi while memories of you and him flashed right before his eyes. From where you began, until when everything ended. You are the most important part of his life, and the man could never bear keeping you in a relationship where you would not grow anymore. He couldn’t stand being a hindrance to your betterment. You are so important to him, that he would rather lose you than see you lose yourself.

“I am in love with her, that’s why.”

Along the melodies and within your lover’s touch, you found your eyes shedding tears you never knew you had. You dreamt about chasing cars with the Ackerman, you had your dreams, you were almost perfect.

Almost surreal, that even God felt envious.

“Why are you crying?” You felt your lover’s hand against your skin, caressing your shaking body, embracing the sadness that crept upon your body and kissing it with his warmth.

The music flew around your beings as you wept for an old flame. A splash of melancholia made everything bluer than blue, especially upon the realization that the man you loved is seeing you with somebody else. And all you could do is to close your eyes and hope that you would be happy, while he drowns within the sorrow of loving you. 

“I’m just glad.” You whispered, pulling Eren closer to you, letting his love coax every bit of blue that tainted your warmth with ice.

_While your heart mourns for what could have been._


	24. [Double Drabble]: All I want

After the rumbling, the captain reunites with his lover.

 **Genre:** Angst

 **Warnings:** Character death

 **Word count:** 200 words

* * *

_“What do you want, cadet?”_

_The first words that the captain have spoken to you were something that neither you nor him, could ever forget. At first glance, at first touch, the both of you knew that there was something more than the lilies of friendship that bloomed between the spaces of your fingertips._

Somber raindrops echoed through the roof of the church. Roars of thunder and howls of the wind lambasted the exterior of the Victorian church where you stood in the middle, and everything seemed to be so peaceful. You are his meaning of love.

_“Tell me what you want, Levi,” You gasped, the first night you made love with the Ackerman. The way your bodies fit into each other like warm clay was beautiful, you have made Athena feel insecure. Of course, you are the captain’s lover._

_“You are all I want.”_

His trembling fingers caressed the glass of your white coffin. You look so beautiful in the wedding dress you never got the chance to wear. A tear escaped from his remaining eye, whispering everything he wished for, everything he has every wanted.

“You could have held my hand for a little bit longer, my love.”


	25. I (still) want you around

He’s an old flame.

 **Genre:** Modern AU; angst if you squint, smut

 **Warnings:** NSFW, explicit smut, drinking

* * *

“Where are you going? One more shot!” Hanji exclaimed, trying to pull your arm towards them but you immediately yank it off, successfully escaping from the terrace full of people you just met.

With a hazy vision and a dizzy mind, your feet surprisingly didn’t give up on you as they found their way onto the restroom. The faint sound of the music from outside reverbed within the four corners of the bathroom. You reeked of alcohol, heaven knows how long you have been drinking with your friends, and heaven knows how much you are swearing to God right now that you’ll never drink again.

The things we say when we’re drunk.

Hanji somehow talked you into drinking with their friends in Miche’s fucking large apartment since it’s the last day of the semester, and you are clueless— confused of what had happened since you tried your best to shake the person off, and yet you ended up in the worst state that could ever come across your mind. The three of you have been friends for quite a while since you came into the university. You were never really friendly when you were in high school. Just a small circle of friends and you were good to go. But being adopted by these bunch of extroverts exposed you to a whole new level of friendly. 

Your palm glided against the warm skin of your face as you stared at yourself in the mirror. Heavy eyes, not so neat hair, and a piece of cherry inside your blouse’s pocket.

Yep, you are definitely drunk.

You stumbled your way towards the toilet as you slid your panties off, grinning as you peed while everything around you seems to spin. You were never a hard drinker before college, seeing other people do nasty or embarrassing things while they are drunk made you swear not to do the same shit yet you ended up doing worse. Nice one.

The mirror provided you the vision of your current state, it was blurry. Everything is waving and a growing headache is pounding onto every inch of your head, gradually getting worse minute by minute, and suddenly, your body came in contact with the cold, bathroom floor.

Passing out is one of the aftermaths you’ve hated when it comes to being drunk. Not only does it put your life in some kind of danger, but most of the time, you end up in the most unexpected situations. Your awareness came back to you when you felt a droplet of sweat trickle down the side of your neck, making your eyes shot wide open and your body jolting in shock.

Where am I? You thought. Letting your eyes wander around a completely different room with the most familiar vibe. The sheets are neat, a few books are perfectly aligned in a small rack, everything is minimal and it looks good, yet so damn familiar.

“Fuck,” You mutter upon realizing that you aren’t I your own clothes anymore. Covering your body and shielding you from shivering is a plain white tee that smelled like someone you knew. You couldn’t quite understand what is going on because the alcohol is still lingering inside your system, but you want to know. Was it Miche? Or is it Hanji’s clothes? Is it a spare? Is it from one of their many guests?

Your thoughts halted when the door creaked open, and there came him. And every question that flew around your mind disappeared as you realized whose room you are in.

“What are you doing here?” You ask in shock. What is your ex doing here? “What the fuck, Levi?” You whisper, eyeing the man who was once the reason why your life dazzled with roses and everything nice.

The familiarity of his steel grey eyes awakened the remnants of your subtle feelings towards him as he stood in front of you, clad in his school uniform. You never stopped loving the man, you just learned how to forget how you do.

“You don’t get to ‘what the fuck me’,” He spats, closing the door and throwing his jacket on the laundry basket, next to the closet. The grumpiness of his voice never changed. You stared at his form while he fixed his already neat things on top of the mini table. His undercut, the slight scowl that rested on his face, his eyes, his voice. . he remained the same, just like years ago. “You’re in my room.” Well fuck, he’s Miche’s flatmate then.

Flashbacks enter your mind like a swift blow of the wind. Memories of you and him, and how you used to be. High school was okay, and you were doing okay. But the both of you were too young, too scared, especially you, that you decided to part ways before going to college. Because you thought that there’s no way you two could make it, given how hard your chosen majors are.

“I’m sorry,” You muttered.

This is the first time that you face each other again after years of no communication. No matter how you look at things, you were the one who initiated the breakup. And sometimes, you couldn’t help but to wonder, what could have happened had you held his hand?

“Tch,” You wanted to smile because you have to admit, you missed hearing his sassiness. Levi’s eyes darted on your body, and you swear, blood rose up to your cheeks. “Are you wearing my shirt?” He asks.

“I don’t know, I woke up here.” You shrug, gripping on the duvet to cover yourself up.

His sigh followed your explanation as he sat on the edge of his bed while he checks his phone. Various thoughts flooded your mind, several questions wanted to fly out of your mouth. You feel like you should catch up, but you also feel like you shouldn’t and that it would be inappropriate.

“How have you been?” You ask, eyeing the back of his head where his undercut ends. You had something to share, and the least you could do is to check on him. Right?

“Good.”

“How’s college?”

“Good.”

“Your mom and uncle?”

“Good.”

“Will you answer me properly?” You ask, throwing him one of your dagger looks as he turn his head to return the look to you.

“I am answering you.” He scoffs, shaking his head as if you’ve just said the most ridiculous thing on Earth.

“Are you mad at me?”

Once again, this line triggered the man to face you. You noticed the bags and the dark circles that became more prominent under his eyes—his eyes that once burned with fiery love, and now coated with ice. His jaw became sharper but he never lost the slight puffiness of his cheeks. His lips. . . doesn’t look as dry as it used to be, maybe he started wearing chapstick? Or has he been kissing some girls?

Why the fuck would it matter to you?

“Look,” He says your name as if you had no past, “It already happened, and it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about how I feel.”

You shrug your shoulders and eyes met with his. He once was yours, and you know that what you’ve done was so damn unfair to him. You were so unfair and stupid. 

“I just felt like I owe you an explanation.”

His eyebrows furrowed, meeting almost in the middle, the same way it did when you were in high school. It feels like never really changed, or did he? “It has been years, (Y/N).” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

You have no idea where your things are, what time is it, or how long have you been in his room. But being alone with him made you forget about everything else. Being this close to him after so many years brought awareness to you, he brings awareness to you. He still does.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He grunts, his grumpy eyes judging you as if you’re the dumbest person in the world.

You found yourself chewing on your own lips, you have a lot to say. A lot of explanations to tell, but the rapid beat of your heart danced with the anxiety that filled your mind. And so you couldn’t speak. You have a lot to say but you can’t find the words. You suddenly can’t speak.

“I missed you.” You whispered. Those are the only words that felt right. Those are the only words that you should say because he’s so damn right. It is too late for an explanation.

His fingers found its way towards the first button of his shirt, giving himself more air, more room for him to breathe.

“You don’t get to tell me that.”

“I can’t miss you now, Levi? Is that it?” You ask. The confrontation seemed to strip off every bit of alcohol that ran through your veins, it was totally unexpected. But that’s life. It surprises you in the shittiest ways.

“I’m not having this conversation with you, (Y/N).” He speaks with utmost austerity, the ice in this man’s voice just never melts. You’re supposed to be used to it, but you guess, after years without communication, you’re suddenly not.

Daggers made out of his words cut thin slices along your heart’s muscles. He has the right to feel that way. You left. You were the one who called it off, _you gave up_. You gave him up without even trying. You are not in the position to feel bad because of how he is treating you.

You had no fucking idea how miserable he was when you left him with nothing but a heartache and sunken hopes. He was introduced to the taste of pain the moment you decided on your own and left him out of the picture. You had no idea how hard it was for him to un-love you. You had no idea how disappointed he was. You still don’t.

“I’m really sorry.” You mutter, gripping onto his white shirt that clung onto your skin as if it is yours. “I know that this wouldn’t change anything, but I was so wrong, Levi. I shouldn’t have done that to you. I was young and so fucking scared, I was a coward. . .It was an ass move, I was an ass—well I still am. And I regret it.”

His cold grey eyes meet yours once again. The irises that was once full of love and fire is now colder than absolute zero. His thin lips parts—ready to say a word when you cut him off.

“I’m not expecting you to forgive me. I promise. I just wanted to tell you that.”

Awkward and deafening silence coaxed every corner of the room, and no one dared to break it off. The tension between you two is growing into an intimidating and overwhelming tornado full of emotions you would rather swallow, and fuck, how you realized how you fucked him up so much.

“I should get going.” You whisper, swiftly getting off of his bed to head towards the door and save yourself from further embarrassment. You silently wished that you were still drunk just so you would not be able to remember any of this. But no, you are unfortunately sober.

Your bare feet came in contact with the cold floor, but just as you were about to step outside the room. A familiar touch yanked you back inside and shut the door close, pushing your body against the wood.

“I could’ve fought for us,” His warm breath caressed the skin of your face softer than the wind does, “I _would have_ fought for us, (Y/N).”

The calloused fingers that you once intertwined yours with came in contact with the few strands of your hair that sticks onto your skin, brushing them away. “You deprived me of that chance.” His eyes bore onto yours, and it was full of everything he had to say when you left.

“I know, Levi. I am sorry.” The pain in his eyes hurt you more than how he had look when you gave up.

Your faces are so close to one another, yet never in your life had you felt so far away from someone you once knew.

“We could’ve made it had we tried,” He mutters, burying his face onto the crook of his neck, just like how he used to. “That was so fucking unfair, woman.”

Every beat of your heart reverbed against his body as your fingers find their way to caress the small portion on the back of his head, just the spot within his undercut.

“Are you dating Hanji?” He asks, holding your body closer onto his. Your brows immediately furrowed as you cringed at the thought.

“What? No!” You exclaim, in a tone that suggests that he is crazy.

“Are you dating, then?” He interrogates, lifting his head up and bringing his face close to yours once again.

You subtly shake your head as you look at him in the eye, “I’m not. Are you?”

“No.”

The night reached its own zenith. The clouds dimming the glow of the moon, the streets have never been this quiet, the breeze dancing with the trees outside, as your heart pounded against your chest.

Sultry eyes. Hot skin. Parted lips. In front of you is the man you once gave yourself, too. His eyes are just as heavy as yours, emotions just as frantic, heart just as eager.

“Fuck,” He mutters, “Come here.”

Your lips immediately met his, feeling the skin that you’ve yearned for, for years. His warmth against yours felt like euphoria, his lips taste like certainty and longing. He tasted like everything you’ve craved for.

Slowly, arms itching to wrap around the back of his neck found their way to touch the exposed skin. Him against you feels surreal. Kissing your ex feels so damn surreal.

“What are we doing?” You whisper, breaking the searing kiss you’ve just shared, leaving each other’s lips yearning for more, swollen from bites.

“I don’t know. . . do you?” His scent clung onto you immediately, and never in your life had you felt so intoxicated— it is more than how you felt earlier.

Your thirsty, eager lips attacked his after seconds of not being touched, eliciting a quiet grunt from the man. The thin fabric that covered your body didn’t do much work in concealing what’s underneath. His calloused hand traveled from the small portion of your lower back, trailing above your tummy, then to the skin beneath the back of your neck.

His touches still send butterflies to every part of your body.

“Ah. . .” Like a flower, he gently caressed your breast, giving it warmth, giving it love.

“You grew.” He murmured, and you feel like blood slowly rising up your cheeks again because of his sudden remark.

Burning flesh demanded to be touched. You squirm against every sensation he provides, giving into the pleasure you haven’t tasted for years. Letting yourself burn within the heat of an old flame.

The duvet felt warm against your back as you lay down, him on top of you. Your tongues clash in a dance while you find your fingers intertwining with his.

_It feels like a dream._

Warm, dim lights surrounded the both of you while your bodies find their way to mold upon each other. His crevices still fit within yours, and no matter how much you deny, your system will always burn for his.

“How does this feel?” He asks, softly pressing his fingers through the thin fabric of your panties. Your wetness bleed onto the cloth, dampening the tip of his fingers along the process. Yet he never stopped touching you there, he never stopped making you feel good.

Nirvana embraced your soul as you feel him caress you in places that yearn for his touches, he still knows you. He still knows how to take your breath away.

“It feels right,” You almost choked on your words when your skin became exposed to the cold air as he pushes your panties to the side, feeling your wetness, coating his fingers with your juices.

Like velvety silk, your walls clenched around his fingers perfectly, letting him glide in and out of your throbbing hole, filling you up and pulling it out. Just the way you liked it—still the way you do.

_It feels like a dream._

Moments ago, you were with your friends, hours ago you were getting drunk, and time eventually find its way to put back the broken pieces of your own clock. And here you are, fucking yourself on your ex’s fingers.

A soft whine slip from your lips upon feeling him add another finger to play with your wet cunt, two stretching you out, and his thumb dancing with your clit. He knows you too well, and you hate him for that. He knows you too well, he is so damn aware.

“Fuck! F-fuck, Levi!” Airy moans broke the silence that once lingered around the room. His lips parted and moist, his eyes dark and full of lust as he watches you lose your sanity because of the things he do to you.

His fingers caressed the sensitive flesh inside you, drawing circles around your clit as he let his digits ram into the tightness of your cunt. And fuck, you almost screamed at the top of your lungs when you felt his touch abandon you.

“Tell me you’ll be good,” He whispered, unbuttoning his jeans along the process, revealing the black boxers that made his bulge look bigger than it was before. “Beg for it, (Y/N).”

You want to be a brat to him. You badly want to misbehave, but you need him right now. So much, that you’d do anything for him.

“I’ll be your good girl,” Your pussy throbbed because of the eagerness, the wetness dripping on his sheets, your feelings scattered on your face. “Fuck me, please. I will give you everything, I will be go- Oh, fuck!”

His tip slipped inside your opening smoothly, as if it was meant to be inside of you. He is meant to be inside of you.

“You’re swallowing me,” His lips came closer to yours, “You’re _still_ swallowing my cock, woman.” Every word ricocheted through the walls of your ears, and maybe through the crevices of your heart, too. But, your system is too submerged into the feeling of being fucked by him.

Slow movements started from his hips to yours, the warm walls of your insides hugging every push of his cock, while your fingertips rested against his back, nails digging onto his skin.

You could never lie. Never have you ever had a man who fucks you better than this man. This Ackerman could fuck you so well.

_He loved you too well._

“R-right there, Levi,” You are swallowing your words, he is overwhelming that you couldn’t think straight.

“Still here, hm?”

Flashbacks of how you used to “make love” as you used to call it, lingered in your mind. He was your first everything, and he taught you how to make him feel good, he taught you how to make him happy—how to make you both happy.

His tip touched the opening of your cervix when he did one hard thrust, earning a sweet moan from you.

“I think I’m near,” You whispered, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him onto your body. Like magnets, you found your lips slowly being pulled onto each other, his familiar taste makes you long for more of him. You missed this. You missed how he felt like, you missed how he does you good, _you missed him._

“Yeah?” Softly spoken voice made every butterfly in your stomach flutter their wings and fly through every part of you, “Shit- Don’t to tha- Fuck.” His sighs met yours while you stare straight in his eyes, so much that you could see how you look like through his grey orbs, while you clench your walls tighter around him.

“You are a brat.” He groaned, burying his face into the crook of your neck, biting onto your skin and leaving more hickeys. You would have complained had you been in your proper state, but you are high because of him. “Still a fucking brat.”

A huge wave is forming in your stomach, just like how it forms well when you were his. It has never been this good before. The once burning skin that begged to be touched is about to be singing in euphoria, and your growing moans are a signal.

“L-Levi. . .fuck, o-oh!”

Like a collision of galaxies, your heavens came to you as you squeezed his cock while you cum. You could hear his groans, too, as he continued fucking you while you came on his cock.

“Do you want me to pull out?” His warm breath glided through the portion of your ear that it tickled you a bit, a strong hand is supporting your thigh from falling.

Still dazed and under the stars of having your orgasm, you pulled him closer, planting wet, sloppy kisses on his lips. The man returned your kisses, using his tongue to kiss you hard, sucking on yours to make you moan.

“Don’t pull out,” You whisper, staring at him as he fucks himself in your hole. “Cum inside, baby.”

“Fuck.”

It was a trigger, a counterattack. You know him just as he knows you, and you are well knowledgeable about the little things that make him weak. Like how you give him access to your neck by tilting it to the side, by giving butterfly kisses on his shoulder blades while you hug him from behind, and by calling him the name that give him fantasies.

Warm fluid filled the depths of your core, and it was so much, you know it’s going to drip after he pulls out later. You felt how he gave you his all, his hands stayed close to your body as he waited for a few seconds before pulling out and staring at your cunt, watching his and your cream drip down. .

“Don’t stare!” You blushed, now feeling the embarrassment that seemed to be absent a few moments ago. His grumpy eyes darted onto you for a while, then he let his body drop onto the space beside you, his back against the mattress, body facing the ceiling.

You stared at him for a second, eyeing the sweat that formed onto his skin, making it look so dewy. His pants are not noisy, but you could hear the subtle breath of his, and a few strands of his jet black hair clung onto his forehead. Still as handsome as ever.

“Levi?”

“Hm?”

Biting your lips, you turned to your side so that you are facing him, using your arm as a support for your head. You noticed how his eyebrow lifted for a while, acknowledging your slight enthusiasm to start a conversation.

“Are you mad at me?”

Grey eyes met yours for a while as he tilted his head just so he could answer your question while looking at you. “No.”

An emotion filled your heart, but you could not quite fathom what it was. The alcohol is completely drained, but you aren’t sober. You aren’t sober off of him. Delicate fingertips traced the softness of his skin, you let yourself feel him again.

“Have you ever fallen in love again?” You ask, running your hands up and down against his arm. “You know. . . ever since us?” Voice coated with curiosity and nervousness echoed around the room. Your heart kind of ached at the thought of him, loving someone else other than you.

A sigh followed the soft click of his tongue as he turned around so he could face you, mirroring your position.

“I never stopped thinking about you.”

_It feels like a dream._

Every heavenly body burned for you that moment, the knot in your stomach has loosened while your lips part as you let yourself get drawn to emotions that took over your sanity. His lips felt warm against yours, and every word, every time you’ve lost, every tear you shed had been told within the slow kiss you’ve shared.

“May I sleep here?” You whisper, letting your hand rest on his cheek. His free hand caressed the small portion of your back, pulling you closer to him.

“As if I’d let you go anywhere.”


End file.
